Thursday, May 25

Prince, reduced to a symbol, invents strategies to avoid a deficit (pt 18)

"Prince Prince PRINCE, help me! " Burt Young entreated repeatedly.

"Hey βurtrand , what's the rumpus?"

"HEY PRINCE! There you are! Where are you? You sound wierd. My fake Sam's club card is getting wierd interference."

"Wha? Oh,, that. Yeah, that's cause I'm in space! On the surface of the sun. Makin money, ridin high!"

8ball & MJG - Ridin high

Prince - Space (Universal Love Remix)
Prince - Space (Acoustic Remix)

"Prince what the fuck? Why are you on the sun? I'm down here βtesting at Sam's, and they got deez nuts. All I need is your help. Can I get some help down here?"

Method Man ft Mary J Blige - All I need (screwed & chopped by DJ Screw)

Shawnna ft Pimp C, Lil Wayne, Pharell, Ludacris - Gettin some (remix)

"βurt, lemme explain. I'm up here on the sun. I read somewhere that uncertainty is $$, so I devised a deficit-circumnavigating-strategy harnessing the power of starspots to systematically disrupt the radar guns scouts point at pitchers so they don't know the velocity of the balls. So y would I help you when I can get money fabricating unknownness on the baseball diamond?"

Prince - Y would I do that when I can do this?

"Wha?!?!?" βurt's voice gets real whiney at the possibility of desertion.

"Calm down, lil buddy. I'm just playing. While you were doubting my dedication to the Sam's strategy, I was using secret apple to implant a secret, subliminal, secret Apple II++++ ++computer+++, deez-nut-palatability-reduction fantasy baseball fantasy into your mind. Deez nuts will trouble you no longer. Burt, you may not know it, but you're doing pretty well at Sam's. I think my fake Sam's card strategy will be ready to make money soon. All you need to do is make sure nobody spots you. If you can manage that, your βtest will've been successful."

"Ok, Prince thanks I'll try."
"Hey Burt, is that you?"

OH SNAP IT's CARL WEATHERS! There goes Carl Weathers, shopping with a cart so full of yogurt. Yogurt everywhere, even on his mind.

"Yeah, hey Carl, huh huh,"
said Burt with a nervous laugh, thinking: "what am I gonna do now? I've been spotted!"


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