Friday, October 7

Dipset Detox with Michael McDonald at Epcot Center (pt 50)

hateit
"Wake up wake up wake up wake up wake up wake up wake wake wake wake wake wake up wake up wake up wake up wake up wake up!"
hateithateit

"All right Mike... ALL RIGHT MIKE! I'm awake! Stop slapping me you fucker!"

"Ok, buddy! Well check it out dude, we're here at Epcot Center!"
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I can't deny it. We are clearly at Epcot Center. But something's wierd.

"Uh, Mike... Can you explain something to me? How come there's no people here? Normally the park would be doing some brisk business on a nice day like this?"
"Yeah, that's true, buddy."
"Ok, so then why is the place all evacuated?"
"Yeah, huh. I wonder. That's really interesting."
"MIKE! This is serious! The imagineers knew we were coming!"
"Oh, come off it... Don't be such a fucking baby. There's no way they could have known we were coming. I know for sure that the Imagineers don't know any secret Google. How could they know we were coming?"
"I dunno, Mike... We've only been blogging about your imminent attack on Epcot for three months! You don't need secret Google to read a blogspot blog, do you MIKE!?!?! And you ask 'How could they know we were coming". Mike, what are we going to do??!?!? I don't want to die!"
And I'm serious. I'm REALLY scared. These imagineers are no joke when it comes to defending their territory, the Epcot Center theme park and its rides. If this was in a movie, there would have to be some reallly ominous music playing in the soundtrack. Ominous. Ominous... Ominous... Omni-ominous. Omni-omnivorocal. Sorry. I'm hyperventilating. Listen to this song now:

Tod Dockstader - Omniphonyhateit

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"Ok ok ok. Cool off, lil buddy. So they know we're here. It's Ok. They can't compete with me. My secret Google is much too powerful for them."
"Mike, your secret Google wasn't too powerful the last time we tried to fuck with Epcot Center."
"Listen, buddy. Sometimes the most powerful secret Google internet cheat code secrets are the ones right in front of your nose. And also at other times they're on the inside, as in parts of your character. "
Whatever, Michael McDonald. Your bullshit does not inspire my confidence. I'm still way scared... I picked up a couple of Epcot Maps, thinking that maybe I can lose myself in close study of the Epcot map. At least maybe I can plot out some escape routes. But no dice. I'm too scared for navigation. hateithateit

Yes. I'm shook. It'll take a powerful combination to embolden me. I think the only thing that could help me right now would be an mpfree of Juelz and Jeezy versioning the Stay Fly beat. Oh look:
Juelz & Jeezy - Best of Both Hoods
That helps a little. But I think me and Mike are doomed. What is Epcot going to throw at us?
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4 Comments:

Anonymous mya said...

posts like this validate the internet's existence. thank you.

3:37 AM  
Blogger voltask said...

Thanks a lot for the Juelz-Jeezy joint.
I posted your link for French readers here: http://frootylootybootymoviegooniezoonie.blogspot.com/
Hope you don't mind.

7:46 PM  
Blogger M.A.T.T. said...

I think the only thing that could help me right now would be an mpfree of Juelz and Jeezy versioning the Stay Fly beat. Oh look:

ahahahaha

11:52 AM  
Blogger paul autonomic said...

best post anywhere ever

5:54 PM  

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