Tuesday, June 14

Dipset Detox with Michael McDonald at Epcot Center (pt 14)

Ok, so now me and Michael McDonald are going to afterparty after the Psychedelic Speed Freaks show. Mike met these two women,
who, like Mike & I, are secret Google cheat code internet cheat movers. They are taking us to a secret party place to party.

The secret party place is the VIP section of the Captain Eo ride. You didn't know Captain Eo had a VIP section did you? Maan, that's why you need to learn yourself some secret Google!

Michael Jackson - We are here to change the world (Cpt. Eo theme song)

Yes, and the Captain Eo VIP section comes equipped with some prototypical Transcranial magnetic stimulation-mediated virtual reality technology. Sure the musical adventures of Captain Eo in space have touched your heart. But with these hot virtual reality technologies, only availible to VIPs and secret Google cheaters, Captain Eo can use magnetic waves to touch you in your brains! Mike slides the magnetic coils onto his skull, and starts the magnetic oscillations.


But wait! Something here is real wrong. I would hope and even expect that the Captain Eo virtual reality might expand Michael McDonald's mind. But I don't think Michael McDonald's whole skull should be repeatedly dilating to 3-4 times its natural volume and contracting back to normal, let alone doing so at such a high rate that it produces an audible waveform.

The rapid distortions of Mike's skull sound kind of like the distorted guitar tone in this Soft Machine track but also kind of like the bass sound of this slowed down 112 beat that Chamillionaire is rapping over.
Soft Machine - Virtually
Chamillionaire - Peaches & Cream flow

And wait! Those girls are really Ninjas! Epcot center sent some ninjas disguised as girls to come and trap us! GODDAMNIT!
I'm gonna die!
Cam'ron ft Freeky Zeeky - Somebody's gonna die tonight


But the ninjas don't kill me. Instead, they leave a boombox behind.

I have to liberate Michael McDonald from that skull-dilating transcranial magnetic stimulator before it permanently damages him! But before I can help him, the boombox starts playing Juelz' part of
Cam'ron, Juelz, Jim Jones- What up Gangsta freestyle
Ohmigod, do you hear what Juelz is saying??!
"I'm part eagle, part seagull, that's a cuckoo bird"

"Just remember the words, I'm back like Revenge of the Nerds times 10 with the bird"

"I'm coup to coup with it, boy, stoop to stoop with it, boy. through the legs, hula hoop to the hoop with it, boy"


Oh shit! I got so caught up in envisioning Juelz' lyrical imagery that I up and forgot to rescue Michael McDonald! How could my Dipset problem get any worse? Are my values so warped that I would rather picture the words of Juelz than rescue my friend and hero Michael McDonald from magnetic brain stimulation gone haywire? But.. wait... Did he really say "hula-hoop to the hoop with it, boy"? That is so beautiful!

Oh shit! I got distracted again! Michael McDonald's brains are probably totally destroyed by now! I'm so ashamed of myself!

2 Comments:

Blogger seep said...

ohmygod somebody put acid in my frosted flakes... damn that's some messed up animations! daring to push the limits of functional malfunction. wow. thanx for the tunes as well. pees.

12:23 PM  
Anonymous reacher said...

man that chamillion track is so incredible. maybe the best track on the whole greatest hits --- the off beat synth line! the swing & and I swung line --- will his universal record will be this good? is there any hope?

6:56 PM  

Post a Comment

<< Home