Wednesday, July 6

Dipset Detox with Michael McDonald at Epcot Center (pt 22)

I told you that Michael McDonald's rage is becoming scary. And you remember how R. Kelly's devastating headbutts turned him into a human screw tape? And how I slowed down some Michael McDonald tracks to show you how he was sounding? I neglected to fully describe his recovery from being a human screwtape! Sorry... I can be so flaky sometimes!
Fortunately, Wayne & Wax has remixed one of my Michael McDonald remixes in a manner that perfectly captures exactly the way Michael McDonald is sounding right now. I forgot to say, when I told you before that Michael McDonald was back up to normal speed, that, really, he was only back to normal tempo. The pitch of his voice is still as low as it was when he was a human screwtape.
Michael McDonald - What a fool believes (screwed by me (unscrewedscrew-up by Wayne & Wax))( NOMENCLATURE UPDATE: the "unscrewed" terminology has been rendered inoperative. the preferred nomenclature is now "screw-up". please take note.OOPS. My bad. I jumped the gun on the nomenclature switch (SEE COMMENTS))
Mike basically sounds exactly like Wayne's remix! (I'll let Wayne explain the technology through which this miraculous decoupling of pitch and time is achieved).

With this husky, deep, almost infrasonic voice, it's like Michael McDonald has been mainlining some incredibly overpotent cocktail of male sex hormones! Say, maybe that's why he's all kirked out with vengeful bloodlust right now, acting like the Ultimate Warrior on steroids. I mean, more steroids. I mean, more better steroids -- next level affinity androgen receptor agonists.
J.R. Writer - Oh Girl
J. R. Writer - freestyle
J. R. Writer - freestyle

It's like he's suddenly turned into a vicious Drop Bear, a close phylogenetic relative of the Koala bear, which differs from the koala with respect to its deadly fangs and foul temperament.

I wish I could get the Koala bear version of Michael McDonald back, instead of this rampaging Drop Bear Michael McDonald. HEY! Maybe if I play him a soothing ballad, he will revert to the mellow dude he used to be!
Paul McCartney - Ode to a Koala Bear (screwed)

Hmm. No dice. He wants revenge on Epcot, and that's it. It appears that any effort I make to calm him will be wasted. Oh, and the fact that I used the word "wasted" in a sentence gives me a casus belli to invade your internet with this mp3 (do you not love how I weave these mp3s into my story? am I not a magician of words?), by Drop the Lime, the slamminest, singinest breakcore producer living today :
Drop the Lime - Live set at Wasted Festival


Blogger wayne&wax said...

oops. i fear i've only confused my clever neologism in an attempt to be more clever. i'd still call those uptempo screw numbers (whose pitch remains screwed) "unscrewed"; whereas this type of track, maintaining original pitch but faster in tempo, seems like a "screw-up." probably not an important distinction ultimately. but i'd hate to lose "unscrewed."

so perhaps you can duly note that, too. not important, though. sorry to cause multiple edits at any rate. thanks for the riff! fantastic stuff!

6:25 PM  
Blogger 893 said...

OOPS! My bad! I got a little over-eager. What can I say? I have an irrational enjoyment of jargon. And changing nomenclature looks like such fun when Karl Rove does it! ; ) Re-re-fixed the description of the re-re-mix.

6:52 PM  
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