Thursday, June 23

Dipset Detox with Michael McDonald at Epcot Center (pt 18)

Oh dear! R. Kelly thinks Michael McDonald slept with his woman, that he (Michael McDonald) is the one who left the rubber in his (R. Kelly) bed, the rubber he discovered at the end of "Trapped in the Colset (part 4)"! And now he is acting on that incorrect belief by headbutting the shit out of Michael McDonald!

He's headbutting Michael McDonald's head so hard that Michael McDonald's head is flopping and deforming like an underinflated basketball! Now Michael McDonald is laying on the ground! & R. Kelly is pulling out his beretta! NO!

"NO! R. Kelly, stop it! Don't shoot Michael McDonald! He didn't do it!"
"I think he did!" was R. Kelly's response, lining up Michael McDonald already deeply-traumatized head in his crosshairs.
"No! Michael McDonald has been here with me at Epcot Center for over a month! Look! If you click this link, there is cold, hard proof on the internet!"
R. Kelly, as much as he was lusting for revenge, couldn't argue with the facts: Michael McDonald has an alibi. After going back and reading our entire Epcot Center story, he decided that it was probably the animatronic replica of Mark Twain who had cuckolded him, so he and his Beretta disappeared, seeking vengeance elsewhere.

But Mike was still lying motionless on the ground!
"Mike! Mike! R. Kelly's gone. He isn't going to be headbutting you or shooting you anymore. You can get up now."
"I don't wanna get up...... I'm such a failure..... You are still addicted to Dipset...... I let those ninjas disguised as girls bombard my brains with magnetic waves..... R. Kelly just whipped my ass..... I can't do anything right...... I don't wanna get up..... I wanna be down...."
Brandy - I wanna be down (screwed & chopped by DJ Screw)
Oh no! Michael McDonald seems depressed. And why is he talking so slowly? Did those R. Kelly headbutts damage his brains so bad that it turned him into a human screwtape? And why is it that I feel his sad words hitting me right in the heart? It's like when he talks so slow, my usual cynicism and insensitivity melt away, making my emotions more permeable. What he just said seems seems so unusually poignant to me. Maybe it's like John Wayne used to say:
"Talk low, talk slow, and don't talk too much."
Juelz - People use to say