Friday, August 26

Dipset Detox with Michael McDonald at Epcot Center (pt 38)

"Mike, can we get started scanning my brain already? I've been trapped in this damn scanner too long already!"
"Ok, buddy, ok... I just finished getting the rest of the equipment assembled. Let's go."
Michael McDonald says he's going to scan my brain to make a new secret Google internet cheat code which he claims will be invincible. He intends to use this cheat code to get revenge on the Imagineers who work at Epcot Center. He flipped on the magnet and it made my ears pop.
Juvenile ft Ludacris - Pop you
"I just gotta get the scanner calibrated. Listen to this Juve & Luda track while I get this thing working."
So I listened to the track. When it ended, I asked Mike: "Will you show me your scans of my brains? Tell me, do you really know how to interpret fMRI scans?"
Rich Boy ft Bubba Sparxx - Tell me do you know (prod. by Timbo)
Rich Boy - Show me the money (probably also prod. by Timbo)
Here is the brain scan Michael McDonald showed me:
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"So, there's my brain..."
"Yep."
"Ok... Um.. So, how does scanning my brain help you make a secret Google cheat code?"
"I'll tell you when we finish. First I'm going to show you Michael Burncopy's remix of R. Kelly's "Trapped in the Closet" video where he layered all 5 parts on top of each other. I'm going to monitor your brain signals as you watch the video. "
Ok... Well, if I'm going to sit in this stupid MRI scanner, at least I'm going to be well entertained. I totally love this video. Maybe almost as much as Michael McDonald. But I think Mike has the magnet turned up too high, because the video looks all wierd. Below are some pictures of what the video is supposed to look like, and some pictures of what it looks like to me right now, here in the MRI scanner. You should also consult the original video again. And here is the audio:
R. Kelly - Trapped in the closet all at once audio

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"Perfect! It worked! My invincible secret Google cheat code is complete! Good work!"
"What did I do?"
"As you watched the combined R. Kelly videos, I watched the scanner as it recorded the thoughts and feelings that came to you."
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"I have rendered audible your thoughts and feelings about the R. Kelly video, using this, my secret weapon:
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"Dude! 'Your secret weapon'?!?!? That's the piece-of-shit tape player I bought off of some hippie for $4 on the sidewalk! That's not _your_ secret weapon, first of all.... Second of all, how did my piece of shit tape player allow you to "render audible my thoughts and feelings"?
"Simple. You know how a tape player will play back fast if you depress the play button only partway? And how the playback speed and volume is sensitively dependent on how hard you depress? Well, while I was watching your brain signals, I was recording the audio while depressing the play button only part way, varying the pressure applied by my finger in direct proportion to the brain activation you experienced while you were watching the R. Kelly video. I have thus captured all your reactions in a soundfile! That soundfile is my invincible secret Google cheat code!"
R Kelly - Trapped in the closet all at once (Michael McDonald's invincible secret Google cheat code remix)

"I still don't get it. Why does that make it an invincible secret Google cheat code?"
"Why?!?! Don't you see? I am the first person in history to faithfully document the neural basis of music appreciation in a piece of music, which is basically the greatest accomplishment in the history of art, and also science. It's not just the song, but it's also a comprehensive record of somebody else (you) listening to and appreciating the song. When the Imagineers hear this soundfile, they'll be completely mesmerized by its intricacies! They'll devote all their energies to listening to it, appreciating it, remixing it, writing scholarly articles about it! They won't be able to imagineer anything else! Epcot Center is about to become Trapped in the closet all at once (Michael McDonald's invincible secret Google cheat code remix) Center!"

"But Mike, if this soundfile is so irresistably dangerous and mesmeric, why are you posting it on my blog? All the internet people who come here will be exposed to the soundfile too! And then they'll get hooked!'
"Oh, yeah. Hadn't thought of that... Oh well, fuck em. They're just internet people anyway. It's not like they have anything better to do. Let's go use this cheat code on the imagineers!"

1 Comments:

Blogger M.A.T.T. said...

Brilliant

12:16 PM  

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