Tuesday, April 19

Prince's Productivity Enhancement Strategies (pt 2)

THE SECRET TRUE MEANING OF THE SYMBOL BY WHICH THE ARTIST TEMPORARILY NOT KNOWN AS PRINCE WAS TEMPORARILY KNOWN, DURING THE INTERVAL DURING WHICH HE WAS ALSO KNOWN AS "THE ARTIST FORMERLY KNOWN AS PRINCE"

OK, so today I am going to reveal the deep secret behind the mysterious Prince symbol, and the startling effect that the symbol's secret meaning has had on Prince's mindblowing musical productivity!

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What does this symbol mean? Somewhat of a hybrid between the male circle-and-arrow and the female circle-and-cross, the symbol by which for a time Prince was known seems to connote Prince's sexual ambiguity. What is Prince's sexual orientation? This is a frequently asked question. The truth is that this question is completely wrongheaded and besides the point! A clue to the real answer can be found in the following lyrics:

"I'm not your lover, I'm not your friend
I am something that you'll never comprehend."

Now, thanks to my mastery of secret Google internet cheat codes, I have contradicted this cryptic statement. I know comprehend what that "something" is, and what that mysterious symbol depicted above really means! And now, readers who read further will reap the fruits of my research:

As a young man, Prince was an avid apiculturist. And the bees he kept provided him with more than just sweet honey. They provided him with inspiration. Bees conduct business with greater efficiency and harmony than any group of humans with whom Prince had had the misfortune of trying to collaborate. Prince longed for collaborators with the dedication and loyalty that came naturally to bees.

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And so, Prince decided to become a queen bee. This is the true meaning of the symbol by which he was once known. Prince familiarized himself with the discovery of Dzierzon -- male bees have no father. And so, by the application of his genius and work ethic, Prince taught himself to self-replicate by haplodiploid reproduction. He gave birth to unfertilized Haploid male drones. When these reached sexual maturity, he mated with them and gave birth to Diploid female workers. Prince thus birthed a colony of Princoid drones & workers, with whose help he could at last realize his artistic goals. They could also help him in constructing his dream home. And he would have no shortage of sexual partners, to boot.

Big Tall Wall - Prince
If I Had a Harem- Prince


But at this point, the reader must be wondering: Prince has managed to give birth to a colony of little Princes, who would be quite similar to him genetically and would have been brought up and taught music by him. Nature & nurture would have endowed his drones and workers with prodigious musical talent of their own. Why should they not leave the colony and make fortunes as solo artists? What about the free market!?!?! Surely they could all succeed on their own!

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Surely. But, Prince of course knew full well that they would not leave him. Rather, it would be in their best interest to serve him. Prince had learned and understood the work of sociobiologist WD Hamilton and the rationale his work provided for the counterinituitive altruism of insect sociality :

"Hamilton's rule. The cornerstone of modern sociobiology is the simple, powerful notion that the costs of individual sacrifice in terms of fitness, divided by the benefit to the receiver must be smaller than the degree of relatedness between the two. This is expressed as C/B < r. Looked at in another way, Hamilton's rule states that if two individuals are very closely related, the costs of relatively large sacrifices by one for the benefit of the other can be justified in terms of inclusive fitness. W. D. Hamilton proposed this formula in 1964 and in so doing provided the most compelling rationale and explanation for social behavior. Insects provided most of the experimental clues for subsequent support of Hamilton's notion."

Prince's offspring thus had ample incentive to be loyal. Plus too he had hella pheromones to keep them from acting against their own best interests. In the track below, you can hear Prince & his offspring commemorating their cohesive & self-sufficient communist utopia, in a 30 minute long rendition of "I would die 4 U". The passionate loyalty can be heard particularly well in the bongoes:

I Would Die 4 U - Prince

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NEXT TIME: Prince's diet secrets! How they allowed him to record amazing music 24 hours a day and still stay wafer-thin!

11 Comments:

Blogger emynd said...

This is brilliant.

3:32 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

dude those animated GIFs are SICK!!!!

4:38 PM  
Anonymous simone said...

i love your site. yes

12:08 PM  
Blogger sravanya said...

oohhhhh god i cud understand nuthing...

2:16 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

This is amazing. In doing research of the subject I imagine what has been stated. There isn't that much of a difference in the species.

3:35 PM  
Blogger kasia 27 said...

Prince cross symbol came from Ankh .. Egyptian symbol of immortality which represents the gate 'key' to higher world..
True is We never actually die . Prince I love your kiss song .. it's simply pure . love from K

6:06 PM  
Blogger melissa said...

He came with a message and went back home. Like David Bowie, they were way before their time for many. Beautiful, love, and blessed...

12:16 AM  
Blogger melissa said...

He came with a message and went back home. Like David Bowie, they were way before their time for many. Beautiful, love, and blessed...

12:17 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Every song I hear from him, takes me on a journey with him. I know him through his mastery, geniuse, and poetic music. I really feel like I lost a good friend I loved. With him, comes the end of an era.
.....I just can't stop writing songs about ya, I love you so much.

11:48 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

nice ..

4:57 PM  
Blogger kasia 27 said...

What kind of songs you are writing?

6:02 PM  

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