Friday, April 22

Prince's Productivity Enhancement Strategies (pt 3)


Do you remember what Prince looks like?

Prince is the one on the left.

You may've noticed that Prince is a very thin man! But have you ever wondered what is his secret? How does he manage to stay so dainty and still record amazing music 24/7? Well, thanks to my secret internet google cheat codes, the internet has taught me the secret! And now I will teach it to you:

Did you know that Prince was once very fat? Prince prayed and prayed that he would lose weight! He even painted a painting to help him discipline himself:

But Prince, as always, found an innovative solution to his problem. And he didn't do it alone:


Prince's secret are his endosymbionts, the bacteria that live in his gut. Prince's are very special. Prince cultivated his intestinal flora until they made his metabolism sufficiently miraculous to reduce the U.S.A.'s leading dieticians and microbiologists to tears of joy. Prince's endosymbionts allow him to subsist entirely on chocolate, caribbean jerk sauce, and neon!

Chocolate - Prince
Neon Telephone - Prince
Jerk Out - Prince

This diet not only gives him superhuman musical ability. It also endows him with superhuman speed!
100MPH - Prince

NEXT TIME: The dark years. Prince's utopian communist colony collapses!


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