Monday, April 24

Prince, reduced to a symbol, invents strategies to avoid a deficit (pt 12)

Burt Young, after Prince had implanted a secret, subliminal, secret Apple II++++ ++computer+++, non-candy-item-palatability-enhancement, interpretive-dance-imagery series, stared blankly back-and-forth as he shook his head between parallel and perpendicular with the highly-stacked aisles of Sam's Club's savings.

"Ok, Burt," Prince advised, "Now you have to go shop for some non-candy-related items. All that candy'll rot your teeth." And when Burt, still dazzled by the presence of so much inexpensive candy, failed to respond, he yelled, "Seriously. Scram! Put a egg in your shoe and beat it. Anybody there? HELLO? I said beat it!"
Keak da Sneak - Beat it
Keak da Sneak - Hello
Matmos- Roses and Teeth for Ludwig Wittgenstein

(go to the Matmos news page if you want to read about their wisdomteeth-and-rose-sound-mediated-text-accompaniment strategy, and if you want to read about an Alan Turing-tested (Mother-approved) performance they performed for some folks who are hella good at maths.)

And so, Burt did as Prince told him, and began to shop outside of the Sam's candy section.

example, Burt Young found himself attracted to the Blue gatorade, or at least Prince's interpretive dance which in Burt Young's mind was representing blue gatorade.

Big Youth - Sky Juice
Prince - Computer Blue (extended jam demo version)
X Japan - Blue Blood
(Also: unrelated but very important: 6 lectures by Borges)

Monday, April 17

Prince, reduced to a symbol, invents strategies to avoid a deficit (pt 11)

Β Y got so roped in to the nerd ropes, Prince had to send him a lifeline (that is, via the bar code on Β Y's counterfeit membership card,
hesent Β Y a secret Apple II++ computer+ intintrointronet polymer message
Prince - Rope of silicon

"Bert," Prince said, "Β Y.... I don't know y u have so much extra love for candy, why candy makes you such a weak piggie eater. I mean, damn, I knew you had a sweet tooth, but y are Sam's big, cheap boxes of candy so irresistably palatable 2 U? I know you love candy and I respect your love of candy, but damn I need you to look at Sam's other products, too."

& so, right there on the spot, Prince invented a brand-new secret cheat code -- a secret Apple II++++ ++computer+++ subliminal associational behavioral correctional strategy.

Via the bar code on Β Y's counterfeit membership card, bypassing Burt's eyes, his LGN, his conscious mind, etc... (eliminating the middle man, if you will), Prince sent a symbol directly into Burt Young's subconscious mind

Prince - Ronnie, talk to Russia

The symbol he sent, , immediately established an association between each of Sam's Club's non-candy products and an interpretive dance by Prince Thenceforth, each of Sam's Club's non-candy products would be symbolized in Burt Young's subconsciousness by a unique interpretive dance by Prince, thus elevating said products palatability, and counterbalancing that of Sam's bulk candy products. This will, obviously, immensely elevate Burt Young's betatesting game.

Cam'ron - Elevator music freestyle

"Ok, Burt, you should be all set now... And don't worry, if you run into any more trouble, I will help you out. I've got my eyes on you.

Wednesday, April 12

Prince, reduced to a symbol, invents strategies to avoid a deficit (pt 10)


The Fall - Like to blow
Iggy Pop ft Kate Pierson (from the B-52's) - Candy

So, the thing is, Burt Young can't be given enough rope to sate himself; rather, he'll suck back willie wonka nerd ropes way way way past satiety. What do u mean, satiety, anyway?

Smack - Blind da Block
Smack - Got Smack

Burt Young's compulsion for candy ropes blocks him from, and blinds him to any other possible shopping opportunities, When you want candy and can buy so much of it for so little, $, why would you shop for anything else?

Jim Jones, Max B, 40 Cal - Fustrated

But it's frustrating, because Prince needs him to spread his consuming around to some of the other departments, in order for Burt Young's beta-testing strategy to be sufficiently informative.

So, Prince sent an Apple II++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++ computer intraintraintranet polymer rope through the bar code on &Beta Y's counterfeit membership card. A lifeline, if you will.

Prince - Rope of silicon

Tuesday, April 11

Prince, reduced to a symbol, invents strategies to avoid a deficit (pt 9)

(Hey sorry I didn't post on the blog for a while. I just moved to NY and haven't had much internet. Also it's my birthday, which means instead of acting like I'm 11 (2+9), I have to start acting like I'm 3 (3+0). Warnin you.).

Sam's club has so much candy! For a crazy low price, you can get so many chocolate waferbars!

Prince - Chocolate

Kandi ft 8ball & MJG - I need

Burt Young likes candy enough to go crazy about these bargains! He's so excited & emotional it's like he's holding hands with Brooke Shields and changing colors! Hey what's that up there? Am I seeing what I think I'm seeing? Burt Young really is so emotional, I'm so excited.

Cam'ron - White Girl

Is this (the fact that Burt Young is &Beta-testing Prince's Sam's club membership card counterfeiting strategy) a golden shower-curtain ticket to the R. Kelly Chocolate factory?!?! Did Charlie Depp-Buckett chop & suture a aRRuh chimeric chocolate candybar on Cam'ron's behalf? (Ya get it? Get it? What you don't think that's a funny joke? Burt Young is laughing, but that may be because of the free chocolate samples he's been eating like this whole time)..

In fact now instead of laughing, &Beta Y, is crying. He really loves candy.
Is it Ok to cry at Sam's (don't think so)?
And yes, you can call Burt Young &Beta Y, pronounced Beta-ee.
Incidentally, &Beta Y is to &Beta-testing as Game is to Gamey.

This is what it sounds like when &Beta Y cries at Sam's.

Cam'ron - Hot Boyz remix (dissing Missy)

But then &Beta Y remixed his face, immersing his lachrymal ducts into a a huge bottle of delicious hot sauce, and got his shit together.
Cam'ron, J.R. Writer, Hell Rell - Hot 97 Freestyle
Chamillionaire ft Bun B & Pimp C - Ridin remix