Friday, November 10

Star Wars Hairstyle Kujichagulia (pt 10)

"Cash me out of this autonomous hairstyle group. We are going nowhere with no muscles!"

Saafir - Cash me out
Raekwon - Rising 2 da gwap

Wednesday, November 8

Star Wars Hairstyle Kujichagulia (pt 9)

In a well-intentioned but very futile gesture of empowerment, Han Solo Hairstyle, in lieu of muscle, offered Luke Skywalker Hairstyle a robot's arm connected to a neural prosthesis connected to a rabbit's hamburger hat.

JME ft Skepta - Don't get rude
JME - 96 Bars of revenge
Uusitalo - Lumimies
Luomo - Wanna tell

"I wanna tell you something, Mr. Han Solo Hairstyle. I have no brains plug into which to plug your prosthesis nor a head with which to rock the hamburger. That's a real nice gesture, but at the end of the day, it's still a robot... You see what I mean? Where's my muscles? I can't forget to not want to just be hair."

(I also wanna tell you how much I wanna emphasize to you how much you should be fucking with JME right now... Not the least reason for which is that he is autogiffordizing (check out his picture page (e.g., this Hasselhoffian one, and also especially this one with the Tom-Cruise-vs-Oprah Dark Side of the Force Finger lasers )) on his MySpace!!)

(Also: SHUT OUT!)
(Also: Important Weeziana. Does he remind anybody else of the Cryptkeeper (in the best possible way?)?)

Tuesday, November 7

Star Wars Hairstyle Kujichagulia (pt 8)

Keak da Sneak ft Messy Marv and Young Dru - What what
Keak da Sneak - Messenger
Z-ro - Grindin (S.L.A.B.ED)

"Uh what's that? Pardon?" Luke Skywalker Hairstyle strained to make mock ear-cupping movements with the hands and ears he didn't have.
"That's right. The leader hasn't much to say now that I am telling her how useless we are without any muscles. She'd be grinding her teeth right now if she had some teeth in that funny hairstyle of hers. And some muscles to empower the grinding. And a mouth!"

Not true. Princess Leia Hairstyle is showing what a good leader she is by not caring what Luke Hairstyle says (he can't help that he's a whiny little bitch (just like on the DVD)). Han Solo Hairstyle and Lando Calrissian hairstyle are totally offended though.

Friday, November 3

Star Wars Hairstyle Kujichagulia (pt 7)

Wiley - Pump up tone up
Dizzee Rascal - Ice rink

Luke Skywalker Hairstyle is missing the muscles! It's because kujichagulia came to Luke Skywalker Hairstyle before he was ready, beheading and disembodying his hair right at the point on the DVD when he had decided to become a Jedi, but before he had actually done anything besides get zapped by Obi-wan's robot. So now not muscular, no mitochondrion count, nothing, no force. And he doesn't subscribe to Princess Leia Hairstyle's leadership platform. Feeling forceless and disempowered, a hopeless headless hairstyle.

"I mean.... SHIT! What if I die and have a seizure?!? It's not like I would even swallow my tongue muscles because don't have any, but still would you stick a wallet in my mouth? Who's gonna give you the money with no muscles? What else is the Leader of the Star Wars Hairstyles gonna do besides lie to me, huh?

Zach Hill & Mick Barr - Bellhopper's tongue
JME - Final boss

Princess Leia Hairstyle mutely receives Luke Skywalker Hairstyle's scorn. Better to let him get it all out.

(Better Know Boy Better Better Better Know. Please keep up w/ the tunnel vision. Look at how far behind you've already fallen. A positive first step would be to scour this Roll Deep barefile)

(Also, all muscles used in this and subsequent posts are from "Muscles in motion" by Glenn Fabry)