Tuesday, January 30

Star Wars Hairstyle Kujichagulia (pt 19)

Ciara - Promise (screwed & chopped by DJ Michael Watts)
Ciara ft R Kelly - Promise (screwed & chopped by DJ Michael Watts)
Young Jeezy ft R Kelly - Go getta (screwed & chopped by DJ Michael Watts)

Princess Leia Hairstyle promised:
"I PROMISE that I will make you understand why we need to go get Chewbacca for our ultimate Hairstyle Kujichagulia.

(I promise that you also ought to channel the Claire Chanel triple-slow-screw Promise)
Cam'ron - Dead the funeral

I also promise that I will deaden your doubts about whether
  • CHEWBACCA is bald
  • I can find CHEWBACCA in spite of he's bald
  • I can regrow all his hairs.
I promise. Lemme just show you this powerpoint presentation real quick. If I can just figure out how to get powerpoint to talk to this projector. Umm. Just a minute. Uhh. Is it on? I think it's on. I think I have to change the settings on the computer. Ah, there it goes. SHIT. There it doesn't go. SHIT. I PROMISE, this is such a good powerpoint... AH is that it? SHIT. NO. Do I have to change the setting? Does anybody know how to change the setting? Or what setting I need to change? Does anybody? "

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Friday, January 19

Star Wars Hairstyle Kujichagulia (pt 18)

Cam'ron ft Hell Rell - I'm the shit
Willie Joe ft Bloodraw, B.O.B., and Mims - Get em got em remix
334 Mobb - Scarecrow

"Hold up. I'm not understanding this shit. We're trying to get CHEWBACCA so we can show his fur the hairstyle kujichagulia. But you think he's bald now, kind of a reverse-Scarecrow? So we first have to regenerate his hair back so we can then liberate it off his body & head?"

Even though the Wookie had been his co-pilot, any specific kinship Han Solo Hairstyle felt for CHEWBACCA had been went away ever since Han Solo Hairstyle et al had underwent decorporation and decapitation. Now mind you, it's not that he had forgotten his friendship with CHEWBACCA, actually quite the contrary, actually Han Solo Hairstyles' densely ramified surfaces were amply deep enough for Han Solo Hairstyle to have many meaningful perspectives on he & CHEWBACCA'S time together in the cockpit. But he really didn't care and he was over that, but he was asking questions because he was confused and thought he should speak up to Princess Leia Hairstyle before somebody's hair got hurt by the internet.

Mac Dre - The Pain
Kyrgyz folk music - Отрывок из эпоса Манас
Kyrgyz folk music - Успокоение (Кыл-кыяк)
(I got this Kyrgyz light at skafunkrastapunk, and also a big chunk of the multifarious Mac Dre discog is available for you to yad'd'd'd'd'd'd'ddd'd'd'd''"d'd'daddadownload here)

"I mean, hasn't your worshipfull hairstyleness already demonstrated the powerful suckiness of your hairstyle with your facial surrogate digpog-face thought experiment?
Yes a wookie has a lot of hair, but is it worth us taking the ultimate risk? Don't we suck powerfully enough already? "

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Monday, January 15

Star Wars Hairstyle Kujichagulia (pt 17)

Cam'ron - P.S.K. 'What Does It Mean' ? freestyle (c/o TSS)
Cam'ron - Freestyle (another old school beat but I don't recognize, but I do recognize the Michael J. adlib, speaking of whom:

"CHEWBACCA coulda been changed up his hairstyle by now! He could be blonde or bald! I won't recognize a bald-faced CHEWBACCA"
(ALSO: speaking of blondenesse, PLEASE recognize the palpability of the power of the following mix, a preview of the preview to the soundtrack of Ball Deep Intl's forthcoming film, "Blondes in the jungle" :
Donna Juana - Blondes in the jungle mix (1st draught)
((FIESTA. FOREVER. Get it? (Now you get it.)))

"It's been like forever! CHEWBACCA could've evolved a whole new look!" Luke Skywalker Hairstyle continued to fret.

Ennio Morricone - Eternity

"Yeah," chided Lando Calrissian Hairstyle, "It's been almost 20 years! So much could've happened since then. WHUHT EVAR! Such a looong time, like on the evolutionary timescale! ;-P By this time his evolution could've evolved into all types of new pigmentations and body-plans! HA! I bet he's evolved winged feet by now! LOL. He could've evolved into a fungus by now! I bet he's spreading out all types of hyphae growth!!"
(ALSO: speaking of hyphae hyphy hyphie growth, you should've been knowing I forever ago should've been had told you about how the Thizzlamic Emirates posted up Wolfpack Music Vols. 1 & 2 a while back. The Pack are some immensely gifted & talented young men (esp. Young L on the beats). You need to get both mixtapes in their entire, but I'll prompt you to with a couple of my favorites:
The Pack - 2 fly (Audaciously austere)
The Pack - Show you the world (Audaciously Alladin-sampling?!?!!?!?)

For real, I bet he looks pretty much like he used to."

"Well, but what if he doesn't?!? How will we recognize CHEWBACCA if he's changed?"

"Hairstyle Luke. I know. I know CHEWBACCA has lost a lot of his hair. I know it seems like a hairless CHEWBACCA may look radically different. But here in the surfaces of my deep hairstyle trust me I have a secret cheat code secret. We'll get it done."

"Princess Leia Hairstyle, I'm only just starting to believe that hairstyle kujichagulia is the liberating and empowering hairstyle condition that it is. But if you're telling me you can find CHEWBACCA in spite of whatever new look he might have - even patterned baldness. AND regenerate his hair if he is bald.... I'll tell you: THAT IS VERY HARD TO BELIEVE.

Dillinger - Hard Believing Thomas

You better explain your CHEWBACCA detection and hair-restoration strategy to me."

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Wednesday, January 10

Star Wars Hairstyle Kujichagulia (pt 16)

"Leia Princess Hairstyle, you know what? I'm not scared to embrace my hairstyle kujichagulia anymore. No more imaginary calisthenics with non-existent muscles. I understand that though we hairstyles don't have the muscular force, we are powerful yet and still. Our deep surface tensions absorb with a powerful suckiness. We don't push, we pull."

Movado - Mi nuh scare
Trae - Push it (S.L.A.B.-ED)

"This is great! I understand it now!

"I understand that being a decapitated, decorporated headless hairstyle gives me abundant capillary action, so I can just take!"

Ennio Morricone - Scusi,Facciamo l'Amore?(Take me Now)

"Ok kid, that's great, real smart. But don't start celebrating yet!" cautioned Han Solo Hairstyle.

Roll Deep - Celebrate

(u should also validate your own aptitude with this Roll Deep & Ruff Sqwad barefile (recorded on Xmas!?! (GRINDING GRINDING)))

Killa Kyleon - Walk it out (screwed)

"Han's right. " confirmed Princess Leia Hairstyle, the leader. "You've just taken your first step into a larger world. Don't get ahead of yourself."

"But" stammered Luke Hairstyle.

"Also," the Princess Hair continued, "When you say 'capillary', don't pronounce it all-American with the stress on the 1st syllable like 'Kappa-Larry'. Say it more like an Englishperson, with the stress on the 2nd syllable, like 'Cap Peelery'. That's just a better sound."

"Ok. But I was going to ask you about the search for CHEWBACCA. Because we haven't seen him in so long, I bet he's changed his hairstyle or gone bald by now. I'm trying to imagine what bald CHEWBACCA looks like but I can't imagine it. How's that going for you?"

"Like I said, take it slow Young Hairstyle. I'm taking my face(s) right now. we'll talk about this later."

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Wednesday, January 3

Star Wars Hairstyle Kujichagulia (pt 15)

Juvenile - All I can think about is gettin paid
Jim Jones ft Papoose & Lil Eazy - Man of respect
JR Writer, 40 Cal - Dipset goblins
"Luke Hairstyle why do you care about a face? A face won't help us find CHEWBACCA. For that we need all the hair we can get, including yours."
"No. Yes. Face. I'm supposed to have a face. With no face to look at, you can't tell how I feel. So I have to tell you.
I can't feel my face. I can't move my face. I CAN'T FIND MY FACE! What is this Hairstyle Kujichagulia when we've lost each other's faces?"

Mac Dre - All I want to do
Big Daddy Kane - Any type of way
Juvenile - All I can think about is gettin paid

"Well, a face can be many faces, and many faces can also be a face. Here we are, on the internet, and you are a free hairstyle, with all the deepened surface area benefits, but all you can think of is ways to reject your freedom. All you can do is complain, waah waah waah, 'I don't have any muscles', boo hoo hoo, 'I can't find the face'. Don't reject the Hairstyle Freedom, Hairstyle Luke! A Hairstyle, free willingly, can suck together any type of face of as many of any type of faces as you might want, Ok?"
"No it's not ok, because it's not true. Even if it is true, I don't want it to be true!"

"Well, then I'll just have to prove to you that our hairstyles can absorb all the necessary faces to make a great face. This calls for a good old-fashioned gedankenexperiment, just like Herr Doktor Professor Ernst Mach Face Hairstyle used to make! Except on a vastly more powerful scale, since my Hairstyle is so much more deeply structured than that of Herr Doktor Proffessor Mach's (admittedly impressive) beard. Let's think about this logically:
Yes right. So here is the face I face the internet with, and the face I'll find CHEWBACCA with:


"Damn Leia Hairstyle, how are you gonna find CHEWBACCA? Nobody's seen him since Life Day '78. All his hair probably fell out by now. All his hair? Fell out? Wait a second...."

Tuesday, January 2

Star Wars Hairstyle Kujichagulia (pt 14)

"Face it, Lil Luke Skywalker Hairstyle. The year aught-aught-seven is all about the inexhaustible absorbency of volatilized Star Wars Hairstyles. With the absorbency of our deeply surfaced hairstyles, we get to take sucks at everything. On the internet."

Dr. Dre & Tony A - Jack move (this is another roadium-era Dre mix; rapidcher'd)
Peedi Crakk - Callin my Jack
R. Kelly - Got my swag on (prod by Lil Jon)
Cam'ron ft Tom Gist - Yo get rich (versioning Life's a bitch)
Ennio Morricone - Money orgy

"What? No! I'm not absorbed by any thing except for my own abdomen! Call me Luke Skywalker Sixpackwalker Hairstyle! Actually don't call me, I'll call you. I won't call you, I'm too busy doing crunches and the mp3 playlist is on."

"Luke Skywalker Hairstyle, forget about it! Muscularity is dead! Now they are a dead hairstyle black hole and we suck your lights, sounds, and chemicals.

"Muscles keep on making it, hairstyles keep on takin it! Welcome to the year Zed Zed Seven! Please will you join us Luke Hairstyelz! We need to find CHEWBACCA"