Wednesday, February 14

Star Wars Hairstyle Kujichagulia (pt 21)

"Ok, sorry for the wait, hairstyles...................

But now I've got it and now I'm going to show you my CHEWBACCA powerpoint. Wait where is the projector? Didn't before we have a projector?"

DeBarge - I like it
Han Solo Hairstyle can already feel the message of Princess Leia's Hairstyle's powerpoint resonating through his hairstyle, even though she can't project it yet.

But then Han Solo Hairstyle started to question his resonance:
Should'nt my hairs not already be vibrating in sympathy with a powerpoint presentation which has yet not been projected? Oughtn't I wait until I know the contents of the presentation before I consign my hairs into a cosinusoidal consanguinous cosignature?"

Monoton - Vibration
Ultramag - Vibrato

(Oh shit, and now you consanguinate your personal hypertexts with those of the great Steinski,
who is sharing his 16-yr long answering machine project (pts 1 & 2 so far (ALSO: for the version-number-conscious: blogging about particapatory voice message experiments spanning 70's , 80's, and 90's, I propose we call that web 16.161616161 (at least so precise!))) also you must ask him if you may privilege yourself with his recent mixes. (c/o wayne)).

The implications of his premature pre-powerpoint resonations became clearer and more troubling:
"Because if I am already vibing her now what does it say about me, that my hairs'll tremble along to whatever she presents, before she even presents it, just because it's her presenting? What kind of hairstyle kujichagulia is that?"

But then Han Hair became less perturbed as it oscillated into a comfortable basin of rationalization: "Actually, I am only fluttering my hairs already as a testament to her great leadership. In fact, I have almost no doubt that I can attribute this response onto her secret pre-Microsoft pre-powerpoint pre-projectory pre-presence, which just further proves the great Princess Leia Hairstyle leadership, doesn't it? Of course!"

Yes. I will believe that."

The Walker Bros - Make it easy on yourself
Dionne Warwick- Make it easy on yourself

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Sunday, February 4

Star Wars Hairstyle Kujichagulia (pt 20)

As Princess Leia Hairstyle is struggling with the settings to display her powerpoint presentation on how and why to find CHEWBACCA and restore his hair, she is thinking about powerpoint. And so we should think about it also.

Queen - Blurred Vision

Let's just say Princess Leia Hairstyle's vision of CHEWBACCA power point has highly dimensional vision.

You all know in Powerpoint the drop down menu "Slide Show", and all your eyes have immediately verged onto the sideways-directed arrowhead that opens into the "Animation Schemes" submenu.

Queen - The Invisible Man (12" mix)

Well. Let's just say that where you look and see the mere sideways triangle, just a vertical line which horizontally narrows to a point, and then from which spouts the submenu, the Princess Leia Hairstyle powerpoint can invoke all the dimensions privvied upon by computers, caryatids, chrysanthemums, and coprophagists, of which there are many many;

JME - So Amazing Tropical
JME - Subbuteo
Monolake - Axis

but because if then you could suck deep into the dimensional axes like Princess Leia Hairstyles' deeply surfaced hairstyles, you would pull out an amazing proliferation of new shapes all of which give rise to unimaginable "Animation Scheme" submenus, and sub sub menus, and continuing it's sub sub sub.... and then the subs combine and interlock and become supersub, and so subbed that it's like a subwoofer but even more like a sub-wolfer, not wolf like the pack, but wolf like you are wolfing it down, and you are wolfing it at an unbecomingly rapid pace. Except it's not you and you are not wolfing, but it is usefully similar: it's Princess Leia Hairstyle, and she's doing highly dimensional animation schemes on power point.

But how does she color the slide backgrounds? That's important! Can you say gradients?

Let's just say her powerpoint look up table is not just any look up table value. Let's just say it's like: Look up. Look up. Look up. Look up up up. Up. Up. Up. No. Up. No, higher. Up. Up. Up up. Up up. Up. Look. Up. Up . UP.
Did you lookup the gradient? You can look it up!

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