Monday, November 12

I found Michael McDonald (web zero point to the fifteenth power)

Lil Mama ft T-pain - Shorty
Armen Boladian said
: "Say what you will, but

Ladies love Armenmenpower ,
girls adore Boladyladypowerianism,
I mean even the ones who never saw Arrrrrmenmenmenmenmenmenmenmenmenmenmenmenmenmenmen, like so what will you say to my lawyers? Will you sign on and enlist with me? If you don't, I will not help Michael McDonald, and also you now owe me:"

"You better don't play against me, I'm Armen Boladian -- the bullets or nukes couldn't kill Big, I use my lawyers to dead Life After Death.! I have power, I use my lawyers I can learn your email address!

"Me? Enlist with YOU? Me, embrace Boladiesladianadianism? No, I can't see that. Matter fact, you know what else: Fuck you you mean fucker you, using your lawyers to erect a usemonopolyploidy around milliseconds of George Clinton or Ohio Players soundfiles (to which you stole), you oughtta burgle the whole song on some karaoke burglarly hamburgle burgertime:
Beanie Sigel - Judgment Day ft Sabbath in the Raps
Ghostface ft Johnny 'Guitar' Watson - Supa GFK (and whose interviewhose are hotter?)
Why do you want to kill hiphop again? And why now, now when hiphop is under assault from all those movements that empower up off that inexhaustible fuel you all already know what I'm talking about? Dear god man, don't sign me don't collaborate with me don't you use your lawyers to make me help you do that. Please."

XTC- Beat the bible
XTC - We kill the beast

Uh. Not really. Actually I didn't speak to truth to Armenpower to the power of Bowlegg'd Boladianladypower. I got mind control over the aforemenmenARMENtioned. I was thinking that but was too scared to say because
  1. Armen Boladian knows your email address
  2. I owe him $ and Michael McDonald really needs the help, which is important, I mean look what is happening with him now:

"Is that what you think? I know what you think I use my lawyers to read your blogs as you compose the posts. You think that I use my lawyers to kill hiphop? Amazing! You couldn't be more wrong about me! I'm not killing hiphop, I'm helping hiphop! I'm the hero of hip hop:
Hiphop thrives on bullet points, for all of which I can plausibly claim credit. I use my lawyers to constrain away the stagnation. I have or will litigated against each of the above-bulleted parties."

"What the fuck? But all those artists' activities, none of it is hiphop, it's all extracurricular outside hustles. Building a brand. Building muscle mass. That's not hiphop at all."

It's not hiphop. Which is exactly why it is hiphop."
Say what you will about the tenets of Armen Boladianadianism -- at least it's an ethos.
"Right, so will you sign with me? I will use my lawyers and I can hurt you."

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Thursday, November 1

I found Michael McDonald (zero point one four)

You were worried about Cam'ron.
Cam'ron - Hot mess

Well, I'm worried about helping Armen Boladian's lawyer's help Armen Boladian! He says he'll help Michael McDonald, but will he really?

I remember first learning about Armen Boladian in a wayneandwax blogspostulation about George Clinton and Hank Shocklee.

Armen Boladian ran Westbound Records, which released George Clinton's Funkadelic records. Later he stole ownership of the Funkadelic masters from Clinton, and used his lawyers to enforce his fake ownership in >700 lawsuits, thereby killing sampling. Armen Boladian used his lawyers to kill hiphop! He even used his lawyers to sue Warren G for having a George Clinton feature CUUUURTIS-esquely extended end-of-track greasytalk against Armen Boladian:

Warren G ft George Clinton, Mista Grimm - Speed Dreamin

I can see why Dr. Jacoby says Armen Boladian is eviller than Darth Cheney!

Maybe this means he is not trustworthy? Maybe I shouldn't trust him to help me help Michael McDonald if I help his lawyers help him? ALSO: help his lawyers help him do what exactly? Does he want to kill hiphop even deader?

"All right, enough of that," Armen Boladian is reading my blog before I publish the posts! UH OH! " I hereby use my lawyers to externalize all your rhetorical questions, unpleasantly, and I also retroactively disentitle you to internal monologues on this blog, and, pursuant to which, you now owe me:"

"WHA!?! Armen Boladian, I can't scrape up that kind of capital! You are scaring my computer. I made some scary computer screenshots in a gifford:"

"I already know, your computer is scary. Well, if you can't pay in financial capital, then I'll use my lawyers to redeem the value in social capital. OR, creative capital."

"What the hell does that mean."

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