Thursday, March 2

Prince, reduced to a symbol, invents strategies to avoid a deficit (pt 1)

Hey shit what's up I'm back in the United States and I am feeling the freedom! Me & my girlfriend just had the best vacation everrrrrrrr. In Spain. We took a lot of pictures, and you can expect to see a few if not all of them giffordialyzed maybe at some point.

But right now I have to get back to business, because as you may have seen in my last post before I went away, I have become privy to some additional Prince information and I have to (have to) get that onto the ishtarnet pronto. If you're worrying, don't: I'm still looking for Michael McDonald, but that's on pause for a moment, because it's Prince. So:

Prince is back on people's minds again, isn't he? Did you see his new video? I saw that shit in a cheesy Salamanca bar, Jacko's, devoted to the artist formerly known as Prince's primary competitor. That shit is that shit!

But wait was Prince ever not on people's minds? How in the fuck did such a laughable omission ever happen? HA! You oughtta heard him live at British awards back earlier in aught 6! I didn't but the mpfree is good:
Prince - Live at Brit Awards '06
This performance confronts my heart like Ol' Dirty 1st album: "I want to create a new chamber," or actually like 2 copies of Ol Dirty 1st album "I want to create 2 new chambers" one an atrium the other a ventricle. But then Prince's Purlpe Rain guitar solo perforates the septum in between, and the oxygenated red mixes with the deoxygenated blue, which makes: you know, purple. Also there are traces of green but that's probably Ok. Joker.
Prince - Props & pounds

Did you let yourself forget about Prince? How? Did you ever do a heavily religious song sprinked with samples of Kurt Loder praising you lavishly? Are reading this blog and are you not Prince? If the answer to the 4th question is yes, then the answer to the 3rd is no!!! How did you let the 1st answer be yes? Answer in the comments so we can laugh at you.

But whatever it's easy for you to pretend like you never forgot about Prince. But really for a while he had some hard times there. As my exclusive internet journalism told you earlier, Michael Eisner & Bill Gates stole Prince's gynandomorphic offspring, and so to maintain his productivity he had to fabricate a robot band. That's not easy! It takes $ to do that. And since the record company made him have to change his name to a symbol, the correct pronunciation of which is revealed in this mpfree:
Prince - Peace
; and the correct meaning of which is non-intuitive to the average music consumer , Prince had to invent some supplemental income supplementation strategies, which I will reveal.

Because Prince can't be running a deficit. The man needs lavish wardrobing, recording equipment, apiaries, robot bands &c &c. Economic stagnation is not an option for Prince. Further, Prince oughtn't be running a deficit. We owe him, not the other way around. The man is a national treasure.

So I'll begin with the most important part of Prince's strategy: his computational tool.

Because unlike Michael McDonald and I, Prince does not use secret Google cheat codes. Rather, Prince opts for high-level arcane Macintosh models. Known to the knowers as Apple II plus plus plus plus... plus many more pluses and I don't know enough to know exactly how many but I know it's a lot:

But whatever the precise plus count is not important for this story about how Prince makes extra money. I'll tell you some more in the next posts but just remember that whatever you call him, his name is Prince:
Prince - My name is Prince (12" club mix)


Anonymous Anonymous said...

You lie! Spain isnt open in the winter (- only the Canary Islands.) As for Prince and Michael Jackson being the same person (- I never said that.)

5:33 AM  
Blogger Marisa Olson said...

woah! the apple plus plusseses is like diamonds n pearlz! welcome back! was mmcd on the plane?

5:45 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

The french are on to the google cheat codes.

1:35 PM  

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