Friday, March 24

Prince, reduced to a symbol, invents strategies to avoid a deficit (pt 6) (deleted and recovered from the google hole)

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Prince, reduced to a symbol, invents strategies to avoid a deficit (pt 6)

"Prince! Hey PRINCE!"
Prince - Hallucination Rain

"PRINCE Why's there bulls in Sam's Club!?!?!?!"
"BURT chill out! You're in too much of a hurry and it's making you hallucinate!

"Burt don't worry you got plenty of time. Take your time when you betatest. If something doesn't work I'll fix it."
The Jacks - Stop the Clock
Prince - Clockin' the jizz
Mac Mall - Clockwork

"Thanks, Prince. Really, thanks."

Friday, March 17

Prince, reduced to a symbol, invents strategies to avoid a deficit (pt 7)

"Wow prince,"
thought Bert Young to himself, "I feel much better now."

Prince - Superhero

"But wait," Burt reminded himself, "I know Prince needs the $$, for the lawyer fees and the paint remover, but the Sam's Club's members save so much. All those savings could be dangerous!"

Prince - Soul Sanctuary

X Japan - White Poem I

Wednesday, March 15

Prince, reduced to a symbol, invents strategies to avoid a deficit (pt 5)

The door man is giving Burt Young's phony Sam's Club membership card a pretty hard scan!!

"SHIT! Maybe I shouldn't'a betatested for Prince! This scrutiny is a no can do! NO CAN DO!"
Keak Da Sneak ft Frank Sticks - Super Hyphy (Traxamillion remix)
Keak Da Sneak - No Can Do (produced by Batkave)
(I don't think it was, but sorry if this specific remix was already posted at Beautiful Hustle, Get Stoopid (Jayo come back please the internet needs you, especially since I'm about to move away from Big Von's broadcast range), or at Dukes of Thizzard. Also Batkave have(has?) a a nice website. I'd also like to honor the inaudible vibrato of this remix, in honor of Lack (Wrack?) history month, although possibly an ill-advised declaration of honor since it localizes, after all, to one of my more prominent phonemic blindspots.)

But just in the knick of time, Prince's voice swooped from the forgery, and the door man got off Burt Young's case!

Prince - Gett Off (Flutestramental mix)
Prince - Batdance (The Batmix)

(See also:
Youtubular little
BatDance video and snippet from the PartyMan recording session. Also maybe if you've not you oughtta've seen Prince's gentle weeping strategy (incidentally, Tom Petty makes me weep violently. Like in Kill Bill.)

"The coast is clear, Burt. Now gett back to betatesting and go gett those Sam's Club savings!"

Sunday, March 12

Prince, reduced to a symbol, invents strategies to avoid a deficit (pt 4)

Prince - My name is Prince (12" club mix)


In the Sam's Club parking lot, Burt Young was really scared and could feel his limbs tremble. He was scared that maybe Prince's barcodes wouldn't get him into the Sam's Club and the savings therein.

Prince - Batdance (Vicki Vale remix)

"Waitaminute. Why am I so scared?" thought Burt Young,

"I may only be betatesting Prince's pluspluPrinceplus computer barcode fakery, but I'm sure Prince got it right on the first try. He's Prince! Plus, I know he needs the money since the record companies turned him into a symbol and he needs to buy the materials to build a robot band so he can rescue his gynandomorphic offspring from Bill Gates and Michael Eisner! So whadda I worry about?!!? Huh? Prince knows what he knows about! HA!"

J.R. Writer ft Slim Thug - This shit is funny
J.R. Writer ft Juelz - What you know about crack

So, he sequestered his stress hormones
and approached the doorman.

But then he remembered something Prince said he heard about the doorman:

"'"Watch out for the doorman. He doesn't look insignificant!"'"

Friday, March 10

Prince, reduced to a symbol, invents strategies to avoid a deficit (pt 3)

Prince - My name is Prince (12" club mix)

Prince Prince Princetty Prince U Better Be Ready When The Prince Prince Prince....

Prince's income supplementation strategy with the most success was deceptively simple: counterfeited Sam's Club membership cards. Because everybody, especially celebrities, wants those Sam's Club savings but nobody wants to belong or be into the Sam's Club group.

Prince - The Ball
Prophet Posse - Triple Six Club House

And this is the story of how Prince entered the incredibly remunerative operation of Sam's club card forgery
When he was first starting his counterfeiting operation, he needed a beta-tester. Now don't get the wrong idea. Prince would never ordinarily need to proofread with a beta-tester, but the thing is he spilled some water on his plusplusplus computer.

And we all now water does not get a computer putin, that is unless the water is soapy in a bucket with some nails submerged into the bucket.

Prince - Something in the water (does not compute)

So he needed a beta-tester, and he chose Burt Young, whom you will remember as "Paulie" or "Curly", a choice he made for reasons that I don't really wanna bore you with (unless you are Just Blaze and you are in the studio, and you narrate works of MySpace criticism genius on your MySpace page when you're bored, and so in which case I really do wanna bore you in the studio (and if you're Catchdub, from whom I found out about Just Blaze's MySpace antics, then I realreally don't wanna bore you (dude, stop reading my blog, and go do reconnaissance on my heroes' MySpace pages)), hopefully Prince's flawless reasoning will start to be visible to you as you read the story, but suffice to say he chose Burt Young.

I choose you - Willie Hutch
Choose U - Project Pat

(plus go to Smoking Section because Retro put you upon the rest of this Willie Hutch soundtrack

And needless to say in fact completely sufficient to
not say, Prince's forgeries were entirely impeccable with respect to barcoding.