Internets apocalypse

Oh my god!!! They finally broke the internet! (from the Stencil


Ok, back to the ubuweb, which I talked about yesterday. They have a section devoted to
Aspen Magazine, a late 60s multimedia magazine with a pretty awe-inspiring list of contributors. It was the source of yesterday's Lou Reed and Angus Maclise links. Here's a couple more I found after some more digging:
Radio Play - John Lennon!?!?
"Lennon attempts to extract melodies from a radio tuner, using only the volume knob."
Drift Study - LaMonte Young
With Young's accompanying text.



Oh, and I found some more breakcore sets!?!?for y'all.

Here's an especially hottttttttttt one by Terminal 11

And if you feel love for these breakcore mixes, I entreat you to buy something:
the Cock Rock Disco 2005 mix, curated by the great, great Jason Forrest aka Donna Summer, for a mere 4 bones!!! What a bargain?!?!

Additionally here's another versioning of the great Timbo beat from the Game album.
Freestyle - Chamillionaire & Rasaq Had to put another one up because the official version by Game has the paltriest-ass raps and the juxtaposition on this beat made me barf tears.

Oh, and check this, an in-depth article on the making of the best Wu- solo album Only Built 4 Cuban Linx. And on a related note, here's some GREAT NEWS(c/o Lemon-red)...

And finally, I don't care where you are, get yourself to this show. I don't care if it means a train ride, chartering a cigarette boat, hijacking a concord, or comandeering a Tie Fighter, you need to experience The Sweetheart Attack. At least go check dem boyz' mpfrees.

Only cute when magnified?

An astute commentator on the previous post asked "Could termite build a rocket to the top of their mound?" A trick question! The correct answer is that several tropical specises may already have the requisite machinery, and may thus only be a simple exaptation or 2 away from answering that question in the affirmative. Many termite species possess nasute soldiers (cf above and
this post), which can shoot poison glue at a distance of several tens of cms. Is it not highly plausible that this nozzle could evolve into a propulsion device? Or maybe it could be shot at the peak of the mound, thus serving as a tether, which could serve as an elevator cable? Great scott! Maybe NASA better hire some nasute soldiers to solve one of their engineering dilemmas!?!?


Also: did you know that some termites cultivate fungus gardens that look like the outside of your brains?



HA. But do you wanna make your brain look better (on the inside)? Then I suggest you check out Ubuweb, an enormous repository of awesome writing and sound files from a wide variety of artists and thinkers!

High lights that I've found thus far include:
an essay by Lou reed
An Angus Maclise piece
an entire unreleased album by JOHN OSWALD called Mystery Tapes






And now, to flipflop into something completely different --
Here are some totally awesome awesome awesome breakcore mixes.
This one is by Sickboy a Belgian whose album on Tigerbeat6 is hands down the best album of 2004 that I didn't hear til 2005:
Milk Plus Mix - Sickboy
And this is by a newcomer named Cardopusher. He's from Venezuela, and he made one of the best tracks on the Let's Break compilation:
Buenos Glitches - Cardopusher

And if that gets your termite mound geotaxing negatively, here's a page full of freely downloadable breakcore live sets from the luminaries of the genre.





And, finally, no post would be complete without some Texas rap.

Somanyshrimp has a post with some essential tracks from the new Chamillionaire mixtape.

And, here's a track with Cham's former collaborators, Paul Wall (depicted below) and Michael Watts. Notable because it includes a verse from Watts himself, who is much better known as the heir apparent to DJ Screw's crown as the king of the opiated beverage slowdown style.

Freestyle - Chamillionaire, Paul Wall, Michael Watts





I probably needn't remind you that PW won the coveted #1 Grill of 2005 award, but it may come as a surprise that he accessorizes brilliantly enough to set off his Charlie Brown T with a matching Charlie Brown watch (how many Cracker Jack boxes did that take I wonder?). Do you think he said "bling bling" while they took this picture?

I aint Mariah, bitch I'm the messiah

Found this one by accident today, slsking "UGK", the Texas duo of Bun B and Pimp C, whom a casual inspection of this blog will reveal have become my favorite rappers (and who are also quite high-rated elsewhere on the blogosphere):

Tough Guy - Outkast ft UGK

What could possibly outshine Big Boi's verse, gangsta bravado gracefully stumbling out all around the beat? Oh wait, I know -- how about Bun's intricate internal rhyme schemes - listen to what he's saying, and then imagine trying to transcribe it. Where does one line end and the next begin? I mean, what more can I say besides "holy shit," and show you a lovely picture of a large termite mound?

GAEOUDJIPARL

OHMIGOD OHMIGOD OHMIGOD!!!!!

The internet has just become a much better place!!!! Why? Because, as of today, there are ~0.5 GB of mpfrees by the incredible & mysterious Danish genius, Goodiepal, available for free download!!

OWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW


Here's some of my favs:

Robo Santa Claus Breakdown
ghost 2
AAAAAAAAAAAAAATARI STRENGTH

BUT, if you have any brains, you will go to the site itself (here is the link again, internet bozos), and download the everything in sight on the site!!!!!

While you're there, you can watch a movie starring the mechanical bird depicted above, which Goodiepal made!!!

like an 18-wheeler with a drunk driver drivin, there's no survivin

Do you fully appreciate the extent to which pop hip hop permeates the zeitgeist? I doubt that you do. Click that semi above, and learn something for a change. Then go visit my friends, 2 points of light that are awesome


What if I was a truck driver? I would hook it up with a system with a response function that would rival an elephant's vocal chords in terms of infrasonic capability. And then I would listen to the mpfrees linked below, repeatedly, and I would memorize them by rote, and then I would intone the lyrics through my CB mouthpiece in a somber baritone.
Hurricane Duck E - DJ Screw
Hurricane Duck G - DJ Screw



And while we're kicking the truth to the YOUTH
we say hey YOUTH, here's the truth:
better start wearin BULLETPROOF.
R.I.P. O.D.B.


And, holy shit are you going to this:
"Friday March 25th 9pm: Rock Out w/o yr Cock Out w/ Nedelle (KRS), Mind Your Pig LaToya, Retrievers (a side project of Deerhoof), and Blevin Blectum. Rock Out w/o yr Cock Out is a monthly queer and progressive rock and experimental noise event showcasing women and transgendered musicians in the bay area and beyond the final friday of every month. Come support women and transgendered musicians, eat some fish and chips, have a beer, and come see some kick ass performances for $5. at Edinburgh Castle (950 Geary) " ?





Caution: Do not click this'n without a barf bag handy.

i'm here to rid the rap game of all of its contaminants

Get Down! - Rich Boy & Timbaland

Will somebody pleeeeze do me the mercy of telling me what ethnicity this Timba-tune is sampling? Is it gypsies?







I'm a Houston Hustla - Chamillionaire & Kyotti

OH MY GOD!!! This track is a miracle!!! Jay-z's best ever!




Rollin' - Bun B, The Middlfngz & Scarface & Chamillionaire




WHAT?!??!?!?

Deep Off in The Game - Bun B, The Middlfngz & Chamillionaire

It is good to hear this beat rescued... Game did this one a real injustice.







But it's all about Credibility

I want to help you help yourself. Rent this, and just feel that much better about yourself.

And please attend the events that are happening currently.

we combine to be voltron wit yo mom

RECOGNIZE!!!!

Freestyle - David Banner Ft Bun B

This is an mp3 from a Bigface Entertainment mixtape put out in advance of Mississippi (The Album). This freestyle was recorded from the radio show of an exemplary citizen with whom you ought already to be familiar.




Puttin in Work - David Banner ft Bonecrusher

...From the same mixtape. OWWWW>




And then there's this.... How We Ride - Mannie Fresh ft David Banner & Bun B

I WILL KILL HIM!!

Oooo Sting, you're such a tough guy. Could anybody be less intimidating brandishing an alien knife blade? Who the hell could he beat in a fight? ...




C'mon Sting, I don't care if he looks like a midget just kicked him in the kidneys, Agent Cooper is still gonna destroy you!

Shit. Dune coulda really been such a great movie if not for Dino Delaurentiis's punk ass.


Anyways, way more intimidating than Sting is the lineup on the following :
The Game is Over - Scarface Ft Too Short, Dr. Dre, & Ice Cube!!!!

This line-up is too tight, the beat is Dre, with some guitars that are all about some espionage. Plus there's this synth at the end that's like weeeeeEeEEeeEEEEEEEeeeEEEEEEEEEEE! THAT"S RIGHT!

What could possibly be more intimidating than that Ice Cube hook, praying for the lord to burn his enemies? This:


These are termites of the soldier caste. By virtue of the large nozzle on their heads, they are called "nasute soldiers". Do their heads not look like the deadliest things on the earth?!?! And these fuckers shoot POISON GLUE accurately at distances of many centimeters? That's far for a termite you skeptical bitches!!! Plus they are B-L-I-N-D! Wha?!?! Could there possibly be a mpfree tuff enuff to warrant being so closely juxtaposed with such awesomeness? Somehow, the answer is yes:

Body Music Electronic - Hard Off

This track comes from V/Vm Test Records where you can buy the compilation, as well as download a dizzying array of free mpfrees of high caliber. More Hard Off tracks can be found here . Hurry up click that link fool!

But what are you doing here, though? There are several web sites that are very much better: especially: this'n, where you can currently download an amazing japanese noise track and a track in which a popular dancehall riddim is recapitulated rather faithfully from samples of dogs.... For real..

saved up for the train fare money!

Should I worry that I'm so siked about this?
Could it be because I'm conflating it with this?
Care of Cell 44 - The Zombies
Grace and Pimp C screwed over MC Lyte beat - DJ Screw

Thanks, saw my pimp today.

Ok, contrary to what you might think, Wils didn't make the bigface benjamins he's holding by selling his ass. But as lucky as he got, I kinda have to suspect that he sold his soul to the devil.

How lucky was he? Playing 3-card poker, dude got the 7,8, & 9 of hearts twice in five hands. This site says the probability of a straight flush in 3-card poker = 0.0022. And according to my calculations, that makes getting the SAME STRAIGHT FLUSH twice = NO FUCKING WAY!




If I was Egon, I'd be like, "If this twinkie represents the probability of not getting a hand without pairs, the probability of not getting the same straight flush twice in five hands would = a twinkie the size of Big Pun, if Big Pun had eaten Fat Joe, all 3 Fat Boys, Heavy D, Chubb Rock, The Boo-yah Tribe, and Utah."

And then, if I was Ray, I'd be like "That's a big twinkie!"


Sike, I'm just playin'. Wils rules, and an event as unlikely as the twinkie described hypothetically above couldn't have happened to a nicer dude.

In honor of my recently-stag-nighted, soon-to-be-married friends I would also like to post 3 of my most favorite mpfrees:
Cam'ron - Champions
High Rise - Turn you cry
Terminal11 - C'est What