YOU are the magic, YOU'RE right where I wanna be!

Dipset Detox with Michael McDonald at Epcot Center (pt 48)

Oh but wait Michael McDonald is still on the internet! And he has more awesome stuff to tell you about!

-First go over to the M.A.T.T.'.S. A.M. I. H.I.G.H.?. B.L.O.G. and download the sizzily new mixtape by the Re-up Gang (Clipse+some gifted weed carriers).
Pharrell - Maybe (remix)
The whole thing flames enough to set Richard Pryor's nuts ablaze, but the highlight is above. Pharell rapping on the Outkast "Elevators" instrumental. Tell a friend: 'Lil Skateboard P raps like a motherfucker now. Here doing a quite reasonable facsimile of Andre's flow on it, comparing himself to John Lennon, Timothy Leary, Bach, Beethoven, Carl Sagan, and:
"Ma, why you even breathin why you even talkin?
Put my big thing in yr black hole, I'm Steven Hawkins" (sic- he means Steven Hawking)
Mike says: "It's like they say: if you believe in yourself, others will believe in you. Delusions of grandeur are no virtue though, so don't compare yourself to the world's leading theoretical physicist unless it's to complete a rhyme about your dick, in which case, you rule."

-Mike also found a fascinating analytical piece to show me at the Nation of Thizzlam, which is almost enough to make me wish I took Dipset Detox more seriously. (Oh hell yeah. They also have the Super Hypie video )

-Mike stroked his beard vigorously when he heard DJ Food's Raiding the 20th Century mix, a soundfile which goes through the history of mashup/sampling/plunderphonic/stealing-stuff styles. Encapsulates a pretty ridiculous range, from 2 Many DJs to Wobbly to Lucier and Reich to Flash and Bambaataa to John Oswald. Totally terrrrrriffic. My favorite part comes from an interview with Steinski, in which he gives the best justification you will ever hear for infringing copyrights. You will not hear a better rationale for 'stealing', not even from Wayne. Mike's favorite part was when he mixed in "Yo Yo Yo, Yoyo, Hey...", which is his favorite part of Wobbly's Wild Why. Mike is totally bananas for Wobbly. Who knew?

-Mike also highly recommends that you read LSD - My problem child by Albert Hoffman, the chemist who discovered LSD. He particularly enjoyed Hoffman's account on the first human experiment on LSD, which he performed on himself.

"But Mike, how can you spend so much time on the internet? Don't you know the internet is hella boring? Or have you been playing games on your computer?"
"Man, I ain't got time for games!"
Three 6 Mafia - Ain't got time for gamez
"Actually, you're right, I have been playing games. I used secret Google and downloaded a pirate copy of this. How'd you know?"
"Well, Mike, the face paint kinda gave you away."

Dipset Detox with Michael McDonald at Epcot Center (pt 47)

Michael McDonald is very patient, but I don't know how much longer I can delay telling him why not to attack Epcot.
Terry Riley - Delay
(from Ubuweb, where they just put up two whole albums of mpfrees from Terry Riley, all of which you need need need)

I am waiting so long to make my case to Michael McDonald why he's foolish to be attacking Epcot Center. Mike is an extraordinarily patient man, but is he really that patient? And why am I taking so much time? I know what I'm going to say already. I just don't know how exactly to word it. But I don't know why I care. I already know he's so bloodthirsty and vengeful now that he's just going to try to waste Epcot Center no matter what I say. What am I saying? This is no way to think... I need to approach this problem from a positive place.
Prince - A positive place

Oh but wait Mike is such a gentleman! He says it's cool for me to take as long as I need to tell him what I need to say -- he's gonna use the internet while he waits (and you are seeing correctly -- Michael McDonald has a woodgrain laptop. Whatcha know bout that!? (and it is also true that in the picture above he is using the internet and the phone at the same time! He's reading your blog right now, and it's so boring that he needs to talk on the phone at the same time to avoid falling asleep. STIMULATE HIS MIND PEOPLE! (who's he talking to? Prince! Heaven knows what they're discussing! (actually: I have an idea. Mike keeps saying the word "inquiline" which makes me think they're talking about this. )))

Anyway, Mike asked me to tell you about some of the awesome stuff he's been looking at on the internet:
-First and foremost, Michael McDonald wants everybody to know about an important piece of historical fiction, documenting the important musical movement he spearheaded, Yacht Rock. In these short internet movies, you will learn about such musical luminaries as Kenny Loggins, Hall, Oates, the guy from Journey, and of course the most luminescent, Michael McDonald himself. Mike wants to make sure people understand though: these movies give the false impression Mike was carrying weed for Loggins. In actuality, this was not the case. Let's just say that in their creative relationship, Loggins wore the pants. That is, the pants with the trees in the pockets. Mike's pockets: tree-free. (Mike heard about these important internet movies here)

-Mike also wants you to take advantage of two scintilllating internet breakcore compilations, both freely downloadable. One is from straight outta China, from Netwav Records. It features tracks from many of Mike's favorite computer producers, including Jason Forrest, Bong Ra, and Cardopusher, and his new favorite Chinese producer:
Panda Twin - Jazz Princess and Spirit
The other aforementioned breakcore comp is from Chicago, from an organization called Couch fort records, and the comp is called No time for love. It has Mochipet and Terminal11 on it. To show you how good it is, it made Mike do this:

-Also: most importantly, you need to go to the Wayne & Wax, where Wayne has furnished the internet with a link to a movie of a panel discussion between George Clinton and Hank Shocklee. And then, once you've watched the movie go back to Wayne for his deep analysis which mixes a fanboy's enthusiasm with a scholar's erudition and a really really really smart dude's smarts.

-Also also also: BE SAFE SOUTH TEXAS!
Bun B - South Texas

Dipset Detox with Michael McDonald at Epcot Center (pt 46)

Michael McDonald is still waiting for me to tell him what I want to tell him about his imminent attack on Epcot Center. Time is passing. I hear the sound of the tick, I hear the sound of the tock, I hear the sound of the clock, as I am sitting here and not telling Michael McDonald why he shouldn't attack Epcot center.

Juelz - It's like clockwork
Juelz & Young Jeezy - Crack

And you know, Michael McDonald is just sitting there waiting, as patient as a lamb. I have to give him credit here. Bloodthirsty as he is right now, he's still waiting for me to say what I have to say. Michael McDonald: a consummate gentleman.

It's hard telling Mike what I have to tell him about Epcot Center. Right now I wish we had just gone to Bonbonland, the surreally vulgar Danish theme park. There, instead of nearly getting blasted to death by an animatronic replica of Michael Mcdonald, I could've just laughed at awesome stuff like this picture of a tweaked-out seagull pooping into an alligator's eager mouth:

Oh well, live & learn I guess.

Dipset Detox with Michael McDonald at Epcot Center (pt 45)

Michael McDonald is still shopping.

David Banner ft 8Ball & MJG - My Gun (Screwed and Chopped not Slopped by OG Ron C)
La Chat, Pimp C, Bun B, Three 6 Mafia, & Project Pat -Lookin for the chewin (Screwed and Chopped not Slopped by OG Ron C)
(Bun mutilates this track, and did he really just make a Brian Wilson reference?!?!! Not really, but...)
Brian Wilson - Smart Girls

Hey! Look who just came struttin back in. It's Michael McDonald! Look what he's wearing!

"Hey buddy. I had to pick up some supplies before I destroy Epcot Center. While I was out I saw this hot mummified sweatsuit, and I just thought, 'that's me', and so I copped it. I mean, I know that it is your style too, but it looks better on me..."
Michael McDonald doesn't know (or doesn't care) that I rock mummy bandages made of toilet paper not as some kind of fashion statement, but because of my weight problem, and because I appear on several watch-lists, and because I used to be an emperor but now I'm dead. I probably ought to call Michael McDonald out on his insensitivity, but right now I've got other things on my mind: I've got to save Michael McDonald from himself. I've got to convince him to give up his hopeless vendetta against Epcot's Imagineers, for whom his secret internet Google cheat codes are no match!
"Mike, about you destroying Epcot Center and the imagineers. We need to talk..."