I found Michael McDonald (zero point one four)

You were worried about Cam'ron.
Cam'ron - Hot mess


Well, I'm worried about helping Armen Boladian's lawyer's help Armen Boladian! He says he'll help Michael McDonald, but will he really?



I remember first learning about Armen Boladian in a wayneandwax blogspostulation about George Clinton and Hank Shocklee.

Armen Boladian ran Westbound Records, which released George Clinton's Funkadelic records. Later he stole ownership of the Funkadelic masters from Clinton, and used his lawyers to enforce his fake ownership in >700 lawsuits, thereby killing sampling. Armen Boladian used his lawyers to kill hiphop! He even used his lawyers to sue Warren G for having a George Clinton feature CUUUURTIS-esquely extended end-of-track greasytalk against Armen Boladian:

Warren G ft George Clinton, Mista Grimm - Speed Dreamin

I can see why Dr. Jacoby says Armen Boladian is eviller than Darth Cheney!



Maybe this means he is not trustworthy? Maybe I shouldn't trust him to help me help Michael McDonald if I help his lawyers help him? ALSO: help his lawyers help him do what exactly? Does he want to kill hiphop even deader?

"All right, enough of that," Armen Boladian is reading my blog before I publish the posts! UH OH! " I hereby use my lawyers to externalize all your rhetorical questions, unpleasantly, and I also retroactively disentitle you to internal monologues on this blog, and, pursuant to which, you now owe me:"




"WHA!?! Armen Boladian, I can't scrape up that kind of capital! You are scaring my computer. I made some scary computer screenshots in a gifford:"


"I already know, your computer is scary. Well, if you can't pay in financial capital, then I'll use my lawyers to redeem the value in social capital. OR, creative capital."

"What the hell does that mean."

I found Michael McDonald (point 13)

Limahl - Neverending Story
Michio Kurihara - Do Deep-Sea Fish Dream of Electric Moles?
Fabo ft Young Jeezy - Geeked up (screwed & chopped by OG Ron C (UNSAFE AT ANY SPEED))
Human League - The Year of the Jetpacks

Oh goddamn I guess he's here now...

The bad man, of whom Dr. Jacoby says he is eviller than Dick Cheney & Olivia Newton John, combined!



Why is Jacoby looking at the guy with the scary face? Maybe at least now it will almost be time to disabuse Michael McDonald of his Chewbacca delusion ? & u'all know that can't be bad! Can it? I guess it depends who he is...

WHO IS HE???

WHO IS HE????

WHO IS HE?????

"I AM ARMEN BOLADIAN. I use my lawyers to kill hip hop. I will help you to help Michael McDonald, but you must also help my lawyers help me."

Whoa! I wasn't expecting him to be so evil! Am I going to have to choose between Hip Hop and Michael McDonald?

"I use my lawyers to inquilinize your MySpace page to consummate our partnership. You will like to do businesses with me."

'Consummate'? Did I already choose? Do I have a choice?

I found Michael McDonald (pt 12)

OW SHIT! Where was I?

Bill Withers - Hello like before
LFO - Flu shot

Sorry I didn't blog for a month. Me & Dr. Jacoby were doing other things! That guy is cool! He is a really good guy, in spite of he's a hippy!



My blog might pause but please believe I stay without a pause. Please do not believe my belief in Michael McDonald's cause pauses. I am trying to believe I don't believe that. I must not believe that.

MC Miker G & DJ Sven - Holiday Rap (You know these guys listened to Rapper's Delight a lot and then jacked a great Madonna song, and then added JME-esque vocal sample samplering virtuosity which then soundtracked the Lil Superstar Tube. But I was surprised by their choreography, leather pants, and the fact that one of the dudes is actually Borat)


In case you forgot or if you never knew, I here am in Dr. Jacoby's assisted living facility because Michael McDonald here is getting help. Let me back up: Back in the day, me & Mike had gone a ring dang a dong for a Secret Google holiday to Epcot Center because that supposed to help me detoxify my listening habits from Dipset, but instead, I just got more addicted and we just wound up partying and Mike got in a fight with the Imagineers. In which fight Mike got completely etherized, after which E. Coli etherization Mike dissappeared in shame, during which dissappearance I was so worried about where Michael McDonald was at that I also was worried about where he wasn't at. Also during which dissappearance, Mike descended into a downward spiral that culminated in him reading, on my blog, an offhand and inapt description of his voice I wrote), by which and then which in which downward culmination he was influenced to develop delusions of talking like Chewbacca, for which delusions Dr. Jacoby and I have tried to apply disabusal techniques, but to no avail. And so now we're waiting for some dude, which dude Dr. Jacoby has said to be is the evilest man, eviller than Dick Cheney,eviller than Olivia Newtrix, everywhere like such as, who somehow has enough power to heal Michael McDonald. So now.....



...We wait...


Waiting sucks but me & Jacoby are having good times. For a while we were havin good times loopin tubes... FUKENGRUVEN TUBEN LOOPEN NEWTON.


Yeah, loopin tubes can be good times, but also versatile and powerful times -- mournful, therapeutic, poppy, trendy, hungry, appellational, inspirational, or even politically scientifical!

Lil Wayne - Pussy Monster (been checkin YouTube daily for a decent quality version of this performance, ever since I saw it live)
Dog Muraas - Sentupower

But then we made the most joyous discovery!


A WEBSITE WHERE YOU CAN PLAY FAKE NINTENDO IN YOUR BROWSER.
FOR EVERY NINTENDO GAME EVER, THERE IS A FAKE GAME.
ALMOST -- THEY ARE WITHOUT A PUNCH OUT (emoticon cries)
THEY EVEN HAVE A MIKHAIL GORBACHEV-THEMED GAME.
& though controlling fake nintendo with arrow keys is physically challenging

I don't think I will be able to stop myself from trying to beat Kung Fu & Mario 3...
So you know: if it so happens that I neglect Michael McDonald's issues and I never post on this blog again, it'll be because I can't stop playing fake nintendo on my browser.

But then...


"Hey Jacoby?"
"Yes?"
"Why does it feel like I'm not allowed to think about George Clinton anymore?"
"Ohshitoh shitoh shit ohshit. Oh!"
"What is it?"
"HE'S ALMOST HERE! SHIT!"
"HIM?"
"Him. Do you have a pen?"
"No. Why?"
"Good. Stay not having a pen. Whatever you do, it is essential that you don't sign or say your name, under no circumstances."
(Also, speaking of essential, I don't know if it's essential for you to listen to this

Skream - Essential mix (Mass Mirror'd) (tracklist)

but it is essential for me to vocalize along with Skream's bass engineering (i.e., "_{WAHWAHWAHWAHWAHWAHWAHWAH};
wuhwuhwuhwuhwuhwuhwuhwuh" (i.e., I literally heard myself say that (i.e., think of it like air guitar but with phonemes and you can hear it))) & I know it is not essential to listen to a DJ who names himself after other people's pants:

Them Jeans - All Work, All Play (tracklist)

which is exactly why we must listen to it)

"SERIOUSLY, WATCH YOUR NAME, DUDE!"
"My name? But why?"
"THE LAWYERS, MAN! HIS LAWYERS!!!"