Dipset Detox with Michael McDonald at Epcot Center (pt 58)

Michael McDonald has turned this fight all the way around. After repeated rounds of repetition, his fists became poly-palindromic crystals faceted by pictures of his own face.

Ghostface & Babyface - Face 2 Face

Since these pictures are all pictures of his (Michael McDonald's) face, they have a lot in common - they look alike, they dress alike, similar musical tastes, similar slang, etc. They get along so harmoniously, it's only natural that they would form a secret Google Group .

Look at all those pictures of Michael McDonald's face, all mingling with one another so cozily. Their togetherness is crazy! Can you imagine how much fun they must be having? You can't!

To an outsider like that guy (or for that matter anybody else who is not a picture of Michael McDonald's face), such a cohesive social group inspires the most debilitating envy! Since the group only allows replicas of Michael McDonald's face, the group is highly exclusive.

Ghostface & Scarface - Face Off


I mean, you can try to listen to what the Michael McDonald's faces are saying to each other, but it won't do you any good!

When you listen tothe secret poly-palindromic Google Group face fist, what they're saying just sounds like audio to you -- like frequencies or whatever. But to them the sounds they make hold all kinds of intentions and feelings, which only pictures of Michael McDonald's face can share, and which are opaque the outsider, and that means you. You don't get it! You are totally missing out! So am I!! I'm getting jealous just writing about it!

That guy is so jealous he's falling apart and he feels small! Him and his rotatory rainbow Tolstoy face fist

I shouldn't have doubted Michael McDonald -- he took this beef with flying colors!
Michel Waisvisz - Levitation of Cow



Whoa! That guy felt so left out that he melted! He's a stream now! And now down the stream rides a boatman, straight toward us!



"Oh No! Is that the grim reaper? I don't wanna see the grim reaper! I don't wanna die! I can't die! 64 sites link to my blog now. What will happen to those links if I die? And what about all the other websites which don't link to my blog, but will?"
Mac Mall - Don't wanna see me

"Relax, buddy. That's not the grim reaper! That's the boat that takes us to the imagineers! We'll get em now!"

Dipset Detox with Michael McDonald at Epcot Center (pt 57)

Ok. This is just getting too sad.. That guy ended this fight with one technique: the septochromatic rotolabile Tolstoy face fist. This fight is over, and so this story is over. Let this be a lesson to every internet person who ever reads this blog: you do not fuck with the Imagineers of Epcot Center, even if you have seemingly invincible secret Google internet cheat codes like Michael McDonald. Ok? Thanks for reading, no more internet story time. Bye bye.




"SURPRISE, THAT GUY!
SURPRISE SURPRISE SURPRISE!"

E-40 - The Element of Surprise

Hey! What the?!?!



Hey it looks like I spoke too soon! Michael McDonald is not out of this fight after all. Ok, the story is starting back up. Ignore the "The End" messages above.

Michael McDonald has resurrected his hopes for revenge! What is this amazing new secret Google cheat?!?!

Mac Mall - Mac Jesus

"Buddy, I call this cheat the secret poly-palindromic face Google Group secret society secret cheat face fist secret, and it works as follows: I duplicate my face, and then duplicate the duplicates, etc. These new copies of my face then go to the internet, and then they use secret Google style to sign up to their secret Google Group, the most perfectly symmetrical mutual admiration society the internet has ever seen (which is saying a lot, given the sociocultural homogeneity of the internet's population of internet people!). Then my fecund faces combine and interlock like being smashed like a cinderblock. And that is my fist. Don't call it a comeback, buddy."



Hey fuck that! This is a comeback and I will use my blog to call it one if I want to. Indeed that poly-palindromic secret Google group face fist has returned hope to Michael McDonald.

Mark Morrison - Return of the Mack





Whoa!



Damn! That's some vicious secret Google. It just goes to show that if you have a strong will, undiluted moral clarity, and if you know secret ways to use Google, you will always defeat your enemies, even if they cheat and use dynamic representations of Leo Tolstoy's face to punch you, and the representation is colorful. I'm so proud of Michael McDonald with this comeback. And just think, just a few short paragraphs ago, I was..

WHAT?
Holy shit. Cam already recorded some bars about getting shot and not losing his blue Lambo, and and Chris Lemon-Red has it for you.

AND: FUCKIN A!! Or, rather: FUCKIN' AY! AY! AY! I mean Fuckin A A A!

Juelz - Santana on Fire

More big internet news for if you like to listen to Dipset! The Smoking Section a hip-hop album blog has posted up the long-awaited Back Like Cooked Crack 3 (Fiend Out) by Juelz, for which I've been, yes, fiending out. Well, now it's on the internet, and you can have it, and it's got Juelz versioning a bunch of classics, including "Ain't no halfsteppin", "How I could just kill a man," "Regulate" and..

Juelz - Regulate

SHIT! Every time there's new Dipset mpfrees on the internet, I keep forgetting about Michael McDonald. I wonder how his fight with that guy is turning out. . I wish I wouldn't keep forgetting that I'm supposed to be in Dipset Detox.

Dipset Detox with Michael McDonald at Epcot Center (pt 56)

Daaayyuummm that is a vicious revolving Tolstoy face fist by that guy. I just can't help but stare. Michael McDonald is getting obliterated in this fight! It's nothing Mike can do to counter this move! I just hope his feelings don't get permanently hurt!
Cam'ron ft Juelz- It's nothing
Juelz- Freestyle

(Very glad Cam is OK. Go over to Nastack to see a newscast in which Cam talks real, um, stoically about the whole thing. Nastack also has the scoop on the Back like cooked crack 3 cover, which I just pre-ordered .)



Don't mistake me. I remain a Michael McDonald internet fan. The voice, songwritng, the secret Google mastery, the beard... So it hurts me to say this, but I know he's got nothing to counter the Tolstoy face fist. I'm sorry, it's metaphysical certitude: Michael McDonald is going down to that guy's Tolstoy face fisting revolutions!

I wonder what Michael McDonald's diehard internet fans on his messageboard would say if they could see him now! I doubt even they would have any hope for Michael McDonald in this fight!



(P.S. Merry Fitzmas (?).)

Dipset Detox with Michael McDonald at Epcot Center (pt 55)

Is Michael McDonald really ready to fight that guy? I'm troubled by the ominous manner in which that guy sucks his thumb? What is that guy some kind of baby? That guy seems not to be a baby, so there must be another reason?



HEY Michael McDonald is starting the fight! Here's a new cheat code:


"VALERIE FLAME!"
Whoa, Michael McDonald has engineered a secret Google internet carotid/tracheo-flamethrower move, but that guy 's skin seems to retard the flame. AND, that guy appears ready to make his countermove.



OH. MY. GOD.



Is that what I think it is?
Three 6 Mafia ft lil Flip - Ridin Spinners (screwed)



Yes, this totally explains why that guy was sucking his thumb! He was readying his hands to form a polychromatic centrifugating Tolstoy face fist! And now there it is. I didn't expect that guy to come with anything nearly so deadly! The inexorable power of the Tolstoy face has been acceptably described in Barthelme's account of the Tolstoy Museum:
"I don't think you can peer into one man's face for too long -- for too long a period. A great many human passions could be discerned, behind the skin...
...Too, those who are caught by Tolstoy's eyes, in the various portraits, room after room, are not unaffected by the experience. It is like, people say, committing a small crime and being discovered at it by your father, who stands in four doorways, looking at you."
Yes! Totally! Furthermore, imagine how it makes you feel to see the clockwise and counter-clockwise revolution of the Tolstoy face about the axis of that guy's wrists (and it is also very colorful, to boot!).

I mean, you don't have to imagine how it makes you feel. You see the polychrome propellering Tolstoy face fists, you already know what you're feeling, I'm not trying to dictate your feelings to you (no way!), you're on the internet and you can't control what you feel, so I most certainly can't either, but I'm just saying!

Prince - Can't stop the feeling

Clearly that guy's centrifugal Tolstoy face fisting has got me worked up. I think Michael McDonald had better just surrender. How's he gonna top that?

Dipset Detox with Michael McDonald at Epcot Center (pt 54)

Wow.
Get a load of Michael McDonald! Just listening to this 24-hr long timestretched version of Beethoven's 9th is doing a number on his hostility -- just a couple days ago, he had nothing in his head but wanting to exact his bloody revenge against Epcot's imagineers.

The Floaters - Float On (screwed & chopped by OG Ron C
Now look at him -- meditating so well that he's sitting on air! I could never meditate like that! Could this be the reason why Michael McDonald is so good at secret Google cheats? He's even more tranquil now than he was when R. Kelly's headbutts turned him into a human screwtape.

HEY! What the hell is that guy doing here? Aw hell! I think the Dreamfinder set a trap by playing that intensely anxiolytic 24-hr Beethoven's thing to Michael McDonald, knowing it would be so therapeutic to his mind that he would become a pacifist. Way too chill to fight with that guy. . Especially with that guy's fists!


Oh. Wha...wait? What? Michael McDonald is gonna fight? Michael McDonald is gonna fight! This whole time he was meditiating he was inventing new secret Google cheat codes?
"That's right, buddy. In my mind, I was inventing new secret Google that whole time. I'm gonna make that guy's fists collapse!"
The Homosexuals - Collapsible You
Hey why is that guy sucking his thumb? Is that guy animatronic or is he human?