Friday, January 27

Where is Michael McDonald? (pt 6)

Shit I need some help to find Michael McDonald.

I woulda asked Columbo, but I figured he'd probably psychologically torture me until I confess my fault on Michael McDonald's disappearance.

Scoundrel Squad ft Bun B - Sister

I was gonna ask Xamot and Tomax, but then I remembered that they were bad guys.

J.R. Writer - Major Paper

I asked Crockett & Tubbs, but they were unhelpful.

Trenseta ft Juvenile - What I'm workin wit

Where is Michael McDonald?!?!?!

Thursday, January 26

Where is Michael McDonald? (pt 5)

On a message board, someone suggested I could find hateitMichael McDonald hateitat the top of this hill. But he wasn't there. I would express my frustration with an emoticon, if emoting with punctation symbols was still legal.

But then, on the internet, I found these:

L. Voag - Kitchen
The Just Measurers - New Yerk (The Big Time)
they come from a new mpfree-album blog called Insect & Individual, which posts "kraut, prog, free jazz, avant, diy punk, and uncategorizable recordings". I.e., superior product! &, I & I just posted 2 full albums from former members of The Homosexuals, the most powpowererful guitar band in the history of my listening history of guitar bands, from which the mpfrees above come. GET EM!

Also! Check out Wayne's 'Crunk Geneaology' mix, in which he traces the lineage of the post-Bambaataa/Kraftwerk sound. Wayne put this mix together to kick off his electrical music class which I implore you to take if you are anywhere near Boston or the internet. I made some giffords for the course's website because Wayne asked me to and because I wanted to give some Hahvahd smaht kids some seizyahs and also because my internet intuition told me that the internet needed some pictures of Karheinz Stockhausen's head changing color very rapidly.

Hey! Speaking of the internet, I just remembered! Over at a webpage called Abe & Mo sing the blogs, where Abe & Mo sing the words of blog posts, there's an mpfree of Mo singing the words to one of my blog posts about Michael McDonald! I wonder if her singing could be hiding a clue about Michael McDonald?!!!?

Friday, January 20

Where is Michael McDonald? (pt 4)

Pardon me. hateithateit
Temporarily, I got distracted from the task at hand: locating Michael McDonald and checking up on whether he's Ok.

I got the notion that the artist known as gulpEpsh (etc.; see below) might be worth checking into when I saw his website (UPDATE: which he made in collaboration with Catchpulse), which I feel should be #1 on everybody's best of the internet list.

Then when I found out he was responsible for the following track (previously posted by the tri-styli'd super-sleuth J. Clayton) I became convinced that gulpEpsh might have power enough to reveal Michael McDonald's location:
gulpass gulpass lululu - don't know track name

Gulpass gulpass lululu is another of his AKAs. He was kind enough to share with me a list (presumably incomplete):

"I have a lot of names. For example...
DJ bOOth,gulpass vegass gulpassion,gulpass gulpass gulpass,

I bought several CD-r's from gulpEpsh, from which I'd like to share a couple mpfrees. Suffice it to say that this particular consumer choice yielded more power than for which I would have even dared to hope.

gulpEpsh - don't know track title (from the CD-r ccppgg)
This track came from one of the pair of CD-r's being morphed back and forth in the gifford below:

They really look like this. Both CD-rs came in colorful cases (pink & yellow), both depict a hooded figure with an inverted triangle face (the triangle the same color as the case), and both depict the same string of consonants, with the one running in the reverse direction of the other.

gulpEpsh also included in the package he sent me several small scraps of paper onto both sides of which he'd drawn, which I have giffordized.

This one has a lil triangle face person with a talking microphone:

These 2 giffords originated in the different sides of the same paper scrap.

Also I boought 2 cds from an entity called Gellov qllo, described by gulpEpsh as "OVe-NaXx ± gulpEpsh" ) - OVe-NaXx AKA Human power in the flesh. Dunno if this next mpfree is a +OVe-NaXx or a -OVe-NaXx track, but it showcases the gulpEpsh beatboxing style quite well as well as some nice bass throbbing.

Gellov qllo - track name also unknown (from a CD-r onto which the string "movo" is written)

This is my favorite drawing that he sent. It has what I believe to be, based on beak morphology, a beret-wearing pelican whose beak connects to the dripping nib of a fountain pen. And it's below the Coco Channell logo.

You can buy some CD-r's from gulpEpsh too. If his website is offering his music on sale, it is not apparent to my monolinguistic ass. But you can buy shirts there. And you can buy CD-rs by emailing him. Here's the list of buyable CD-r's he gave me:

"▼ggppcc ( solo works ) /$15
▼ccppgg ( solo works ) /$15

gellov qllo 1( OVe-NaXx ± gulpEpsh ) /$8
gellov qllo 2( OVe-NaXx ± gulpEpsh ) /$10
▼DXNKIN' DONUTS ( FRX ± gulpEpsh ) /$10
▼A(B) ( NANI ( ZUINOSIN ) ± gulpEpsh ) /$10

▼MIDI_sai ( our party ) compilation ( theme:gabba ) /$25
-include:TOE CUTTER, DJ Rainbow Ejaculation, HARD OFF,
DODDODO, OVe-NaXx, KA4U, gllp ( mine ), UNURAMENURA etc..."

I bought the 1st 4 on the list and they are fantastic. Email him at gulpepsh at hotmail dot com, and tell him what you want to order. You can paypal the money to his girlfriend Doddodo.
Here is a picture of the two of them barfing together:

Hopefully this will empower me enough to find Michael McDonald, because if not I may need to get some outside assistance.

Thursday, January 19

Where is Michael McDonald? (pt 3)

Actually, this isn't about hateitMichael McDonald's hateitwhereabouts, and I'm gonna do
the gulpEpsh post next. I gotta pause that momentarily, to add my comment on you know what & how Joe Camel-toe-sandals got his wig retrograded.

Cam'ron - Oh what a night

UPDATE: Just to help you understand the level:

Cam'ron - Any way you want it
Cam'ron - U ought to knowhateit
If you don't feel these you are degenerating. At this rate, I'll never find hateitMichael McDonald.

Wednesday, January 18

Where is Michael McDonald? (pt 2)

Mike? Mike? Mike?hateithateithateit
Where the hell is Michael McDonald? I haven't seen him since the Imagineers made him do all those humiliating dance moves. Even using all the secret Google cheat code secrets I know, I still can't find hateit him! hateit

BUT: I feel like maybe I can boost the empowerment of my Secret Google Michael McDonald localization cheat code if I help y'all internet people make prudent consumer choices. So in this post and the next, I will share some shopping opportunities.

DJ Screw's store is the source of your 1st shopping opportunity. I had the chance to visit
Screwed Up Records & Tapes a couple months ago when I was in Tx. As a graduation present for myself, I bought 15 screwtapes (actually 12, they threw in the last 3 for free), a t-shirt, and a poster, about which more below. But for real, about those screwtapes, I would say that of the 15, 10 of them were better than any of the 2005 albums or mixtapes I heard.

Internet people have been talking for a minute about Screw and what he invented (I particularly liked what was said here and here), and I don't have much else additional to add. Lemme just say that I hope you have sense enough to value a form of Process music that takes less time to make than it does to listen to. The reasons why are as self-evident as they are powerful. Plus it sounds really really good. E.g.:

Master P ft Jermaine Dupri - Da Ballers (chopped & screwed by DJ Screw)

This particular MC tandem is not one I would normally wanna jam to. But holy fuck don't Screw's time-distorting strategies get you excited about P's "bubble-eye-hummer" and "mansion-wid-elevator"? And if you listen to it under acoustic conditions more favorable than iPod headphones, that bassline will give your guts a nice kneading. This track is off "2000 Tears", available here, and if you wanna start buying screwtapes I think this is a good place for you to start.

But what you really need to buy is this poster:

Yes, you are looking a painting of DJ Screw sitting on a throne, surrounded by enormous grill'd-up skulls, the crowns of which are being pierced by enormous screws, liberating a purple sizzurp-looking fluid. Or rather a poster reproduction of the painting which I took pictures of and then gifffordized. The poster is signed by an "Eric Clay" about whom my Google searches do not yield any information. Several copies of this poster adorn one wall of Screwed Up Records & Tapes, and when I saw it I just about shat myself with aesthetic appreciation. You can't order these directly off the Screwed Up Records & Tapes website, but you can if you email them at "orders at".

Also, YouTube has some good footage of Screw talking and DJing, from the
Soldiers United for Cash documentary, which is also worth buying. It's got a Z-ro freestyle that'll kill ya.

Ok. In the next post I'm gonna share a shopping opportunity pertaining to the entity responsible for the best website on the internet. Hopefully that will be enough sharing to enable my secret Google to find Michael McDonald and make sure he's Ok.hateithateithateithateithateithateithateithateithateithateithateit

Friday, January 13

Where is Michael McDonald? (pt 1)

Sorry for not posting for a while. I was focused on developing some new secret Google secret internet mannerisms, to help reveal where Michael McDonald is, and my efforts have been futility upon futility. I don't want to talk too much about my failures, so I will summarize the bad news in a nutshell: Still no sign of Michael McDonald! Before I was really worried about Mike, but now I'm really really worried.

Cam'ron ft McGruff - Pain & Agony
Cam'ron & Juelz - Here we go

I am listening to old Dipset to empower my secret Google cheat codes, and also to make me feel better.

Dipset - I Really Mean It radio freestyle


I am also getting supplemental secret Google assistance from listening the new Boris album, which is very powerful despite being guitars' music.
Boris - 俺をすてたところ