Thursday, April 26

I found Michael McDonald (pt 2)

Jim Jones & Akon - Look at me now
Hell Rell, 40 Cal, J.R. Writer, Juelz, Bezel - Gladiators

"Michael McDonald? Hello? Look at you! Say something! What are you doing in this assisted living facility?"

Michael McDonald doesn't ever respond to my questions, except sometimes he makes a mammal noise, e.g.,
"HRRR GLLLRRR UGhRR! huurrrrrr! uhhn."
Maybe if I make some small talk....
"So, buddy... What you been up to?
Well, I've been using the internet. Here are my new webs I am feeling right now:
  1. HOLY SHIT, Dj Phinesse is a Bmore DJ from Pburgh, and his podcasts are the funnest.
  2. DaviDaviDaviDaviDavid Banner's new DaviDaviDaviDaviDavid bangers I dl'd free from his myspace. (via Stilllistener)
  3. Tomby's blog. Tomby is hegemonizing the quantization business.
  4. Mutant-sounds posts up out music ~10 rabbitchers/day The best ones are the Juke/19 posts & the one with the awesome loveseat picture (via Nate Saving).
  5. The Book of Lists is a highly tasteful rap mp3 & jpg-embedment blog. April was Screw month, and also I endorse the hook on this Richie Rich track.
  6. I stilllisten to Dipset Music
    1. Jim Jones, Junior Reid, Max B, Mel Matrix - What a gwaan
      Jim Jones forays into plastic reggae. Except not really because it's a so much less spaceage polymer if undoped by the wobble-bass. And yet he redeems himself by bringing Junior Reid. But whoa is he interpolating Kokomo??
    2. Juelz, Weezy, Lil Jah - Favorite things
      This version sits somewhere in a pantheon between Julie Andrews' & Coltrane's.

    3. Oh, & I saw Cam'ron on 60 minutes on OnSmash (pt1, pt2), and Anderson Cooper journalistically proved Cam's inexorable influence on bloggers, children, attorneys general, and police:
      1. Using giffordomimetically-compressed rhymes & monochromatic asceticism discipline, Cam'ron invented a secret Prisoner's Dilemma cheat code
      2. You will quickly learn if you play the Prisoner's Dilemma on this webpage, you win the most by defecting, betraying, snitching, but then so does your opponent, the other prisoner (computer)
      3. Everybody loses! Rational, self-interested play results in each prisoner being worse off than if they had stayed silent. That is, UNLESS the computers compute Cam'ron mpfrees, giffords, & flash videos on the internet, in which case you become superrational.
      4. The causal irresistability of Cam'ron's superrationality cheat code goes backward through history, thus explaining why Sicilian computers practice omertà, and why George McFly threatens to kill Neo

"... So that's what I've been up to... What about you, Mike? Seen any cool webpages lately?"
"HHHüürrRRRRRRRRn hhhh! HHHurrRRRRR RRRn hhhh.HHHüürrRRRRRRRRn hhhh! HHHurrRRRRR RRRn hhhh.""

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I found Michael McDonald (pt 1)


Uh, how are you?"
Juelz & Weezy - Bad Side (fidelity: mobile phone recording in a roomful of people (from))
Maybe Mental - Premystery (from)

"aarrrrr rrrrrrrr rrnnnn nn nnhhhh"

"What did you say, Mike?"

"Ok, well you don't have to say anything right away. But can I just ask what you are doing in this assisted living facility?"

"Are you getting help? For what? Who is helping?"
"aarrrrr rrrrrrrr rrnnnn nn nnhhhh"
"Ok, Mike, easy there. If you just wanna growl & howl for now, it's ok. I'm just curious. I hope you don't mind."

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Thursday, April 19

Star Wars Hairstyle Kujichagulia (pt 23)

Aaliyah - Young nation

"Ah would you look at that blonde Chewbacca lock? I can't help feeling that the self-determination of Stare Wars Hairstyles is about to change irreversibly."

"Hey, I feel like this blonde Chewbacca lock is nucleating us into a tesselated crystal lattice complex dustbunny dustbunny Voltron Voltron Voltron meta-hairstyle coalescent coalition....

Aaliyah - Young nation

Aaliyah - Young nation
"...In other words, we are assembling to form Michael McDonald's beard."

Not that it mattered, because the hairstyles were already inexorably agglomerating into Michael McDonald's beard. But Luke Skywalker Hairstyle temporarily had issues with assimilating himself into McBeard, which he resolved just in the knick of time: "I don't know if Michael McDonald's beard is what hairstyle kujichagulia is really supposed to be all about...
Aaliyah - Young nation
Oh well, at least I can say this:
Michael McDonald's beard >> Star Wars"



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